Femme
by NICHA
Summary: !YURI! NaruSasu. Naruto hesitantly brought her lips to Sasuke's ear and said in a very secretive manner, "I'm here to capture a serial killer..." She pulled away from the other and Sasuke could have sworn that those blue eyes flashed red...
1. Chapter 1: Introduce Us

**Femme**

**Sohei NICHA**

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**Rate: T**

**Genre: Humor/Oncoming Romance**

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**Notes:** Fem!Naruto and Fem!Sasuke. Inspired by a Fem!Sasuke story I've read recently... But Naruto was still a guy in that story so...

Oh, also this is an AU story…

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Wait... So... Is this technically Yaoi or Yuri...?

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**. F . E . M . M . E. Chapter 1**

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Sasuke looked up at the ceiling and then her eyes widened.

She shot up from her bed, "Oh shit." The brunette then tumbled out of her bed, "He's on time today…" she muttered under her breath, "And _I'm_ late. That bastard's gonna _kill_ me if it goes on like this…"

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Today.

Today _he_ was planning to be on time, and this time, Sasuke knew he meant it. She didn't know if he was actually going to "kill" her, per se, but she had no doubt in her mind that he was going to find some way to indirectly kill her by making her life a living Hell…

Somehow…

She ran the shower and hissed as the cold morning water raped her skin. She jumped back and glared until the liquid became warm.

Then she stepped underneath the spray and let her dark hair get drenched before slapping some shampoo on and quickly scrubbing herself down.

The dark haired woman growled as she heard her door open. "Just because you have a key it doesn't mean you get to come into my home," she said, animosity clearly laced in her voice.

"Mm, but there _is_ a reason you gave me the key, right, Sasuke?"

"Get out." Sasuke smoothed out her hair as it rinsed out the last of the shampoo, "Now."

The other smiled.

"_NOW_, KAKASHI!" she lashed out from behind-the white shower curtains.

He smiled from behind his surgical mask, "Sasuke, I know that you were born to defend yourself, but..." he held onto her extended limb, "Please remember that you are, in fact, naked at the moment."

The extended arm stiffened in his hands.

"Don't make me pull you out."

"..."

"You need something?"

"Towel," the woman growled.

"Ah, yes," he let her go, reached over to the towel rack and gave her one of the pristine white cloths, "I'll be waiting in the living room."

She shut off the water and grunted in acknowledgement.

As she heard the door shut she took a quick peek out the curtains and came face to face with big, blue eyes.

What else could she do?

"CHIDORI!"

"GYAH— WHAT _IS_ THAT—GYAAAAH?"

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A high-pitched scream filled the condo, suddenly tapering into a whimper.

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"I'm sorry about before."

"Whatever."

Kakashi chuckled and sweat-dropped, "Well, this is the girl I was talking to you about before, Sasuke," he said, patting the blonde girl on her shoulder.

She was holding her reddened cheek and a pack of peas on top of her head, "I'm sorry," she whimpered. She then stuck out her hand with a smile that forced itself through her current pain, "I'm Naruto Uzumaki. I take it you're—"

"Sasuke," the brunette looked at the blonde in disdain. "Kakashi, why am I taking care of her again?"

Kakashi shrugged, "I can't remember," he replied. The man then opened up his messenger bag and took out a memory stick, "You have a computer here?"

Sasuke nodded, "Yeah, why?"

"Tsunade and Jiraya have explained everything right here," he said, "Now, where is it?"

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"So what you're trying to say is that..." she took a quick look at the fidgety blonde, "I'm looking after an eighteen year old for six months for _population_ _data_?" Sasuke scoffed, "What kind of data could they _possibly_ get here that they couldn't get with a quick _census_—?"

"'Data'... Well, I suppose that they could have phrased it… better..." admitted the man, "Being that Jiraya _is_ the great persuader in the family..."

Sasuke turned the corner and looked at the back of the other woman. She sighed, "She couldn't just rent a place for her own for the time?"

"They sent out at least ten subjects to test _certain_ parts in Konoha for observation," Kakashi said, "They've been scattered around and in this area there weren't any hotels or places for lease. We figured that since you lived around here then you wouldn't mind too much."

Sasuke turned around, "That's bull—"

"You wouldn't want her staying with some _stranger_, would you?"

"Hey," Sasuke snapped, "Don't make it out like I actually care for her. I don't even _know_ her—!"

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki!"

Sasuke forced herself to stop mid-punch when the blonde popped up right behind her, skinny, tan arms wrapping around her waist and large chest pressing against her back.

"I like orange, ramen, frogs, toads, and…" she thought for a moment before a devious grin passed over her features and the three whisker-esque marks on her cheeks made her seem even more foxy than she maybe should have, "Ah, nothing!"

Sasuke didn't believe her; so she glared.

"What about you?" the teen asked innocently.

"..." The brunette glared and then began tentatively, "Sasuke Uchiha... I'm twenty-three; I don't like orange. I hate it. It's one of the most annoying colors in the world," she said bluntly, causing the other to gape and then bite her lip and then glare.

"Take it back!"

"I _also_ dislike ramen. That stuff is crap— especially for your growing body. Eat something nutritious... Idiot."

"Bitch!"

Kakashi's eyebrows rose at the situation. "I'll... Drop by at regular intervals..." he said weakly, not wanting to get stuck in their fight.

The two didn't notice, however, and so, he placed the extra key down on the wooden table.

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**Review and tell me what you think!**

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**Also, sorry for not making this into a yaoi for all you yaoi-fans out there—I thought I'd do something really unexpected…**

**So I did something that yaoi fangirls have been doing for like, years— turning their favorite men into women and having them be together… at the same time now.**

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**Sohei NICHA**


	2. Chapter 2: Oogle Us

**Femme**

**Sohei NICHA**

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**Rate: T**

**Genre: Humor**

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**Notes: **Now I have a PICTURE. It's on my DA account, and you can find it on my profile page!

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Also, tthis chapter is the one where I took the summary from—it's a bit different from the actual thing, but I thought I did some pretty good editing for it all to fit!

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**. F . E . M . M . E. Chapter 2**

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Sasuke's pale pink lips parted as she stared forward. She was alone since Naruto had decided that she was going to head out just at that moment. Sasuke decided that it was because the blonde wanted to cool her head off a bit...

Hopefully she'd catch a cold, but it was doubtful— idiots _never_ caught colds...

She sighed and laced her fingers together, looking at her cellphone in contemplation.

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Naruto growled a bit to herself and held her bright orange and black jacket closer to herself. "Stupid Sasuke," she grumbled, "I don't like ora— one of the most annoying— AUGH! Stupid Bitch!" she huffed, pulling at her pigtails in frustration. "Nobody asked you..." she frowned and added quickly, "About what you _didn't_ like!"

The young woman stepped around a corner and then looked at the street sign. She frowned and pursed her pink lips. Then she opened up her purse and took out a contact-lenses case. Grumbling, the young woman stuck the filmy items into her eyes, eyes twitching all the while.

Naruto then took out a folded piece of paper from her pocket and leaned back on the building after making sure no one was around her.

Her blue eyes roamed over the paper as her fingers fidgeted with the hem of her sleeve. Her eyebrows rose, "Ah, so _that's_ what's going on…"

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Sasuke looked in the refrigerator, "..." she took out a tomato, rolled it around in her pale hands and then rinsed it before taking the remote and switching the TV on.

The news was on, reminding already informed citizens of Konoha that it was cold and mostly sunny outside. She rolled her dark eyes and then sat down on her black leather couch; taking a bite from the bright red fruit in her hands.

She chewed slowly, letting the slightly tangy and organic juices make an impression on her taste buds and sighing in contentment when they did. Sasuke closed her eyes and leaned her head back on the back of the couch.

"Are you... getting off on the tomato?"

Her eyes shot open and she was no longer in bliss.

She turned her head.

A grinning, tanned face with blue eyes and annoying blonde hair was right next to her. "..." she growled, "You're back..."

"It takes more effort to frown than to smile!" Naruto said chirpily, "So let's turn that frown upside—"

"Shut up." Sasuke pushed herself off from the couch, "I don't get what's wrong with you. I mean," she put a hand to her forehead, "You've been dumped here by your 'parents' for six months to figure out and collect their 'data'— how can you just sit here and be happy like this?" she huffed, "You don't have a brain!"

Naruto's grin became strained, "... It's alright. They love me!" she said, putting down her frog-shaped purse, "Hey, it's alright, Sasuke. You wanna know why I'm _really_ here and what I'm _really_ doing here?" the blonde asked excitedly.

Sasuke sighed, "Enlighten me," she grumbled.

Naruto stepped closer to her and pressed against the other. She hesitantly brought her lips right up to the other's ear and said in a very low and secretive manner, "I'm actually here to capture a serial killer slash rapist around this part of town." She pulled away from the other with a subtle smirk and Sasuke could have sworn that those blue eyes flashed a rust-like color and the marks on her cheeks seemed to deepen.

Sasuke's eyebrows arched. She didn't answer for a moment. Then she scoffed, "Nice story, Dork," she pushed the other away, "But you're eighteen now. Act your age. You aren't a kid anymore and it's not the time to be playing pretend."

Naruto's body depressed and then she pulled away, an even larger grin on her face, "You have to admit I almost had you going there though, didn't I?" she giggled deviously as the other gave her a dry stare.

Sasuke scoffed, "As if." She stepped into the kitchen area and opened the refrigerator, "Are you hungry or something? I have carrots."

The blonde wrinkled her nose, "Are you serious?" she whined, "Carrots? Whadya think I am— some kind of rabbit?"

A wet carrot was thrown at her. "Watch it, Tubby. You're gaining weight and it's all going into your chest. Pretty soon you'll have back problems."

"Hey!" Naruto caught the carrot with ease and lifted up her shirt high enough to reveal her slender, tanned stomach and a pink and orange-lace push up bra, "Modern conveniences!" she pointed out sassily.

The other rolled her eyes, "I've got to get out of here."

"Oh!" Naruto crunched down on the orange root, "Wait for me, would you?" she chewed carefully and then swallowed, "I needed to pick something up before, but now I wanna go out with you."

Sasuke shook her head, "What do you want to do?"

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The brunette looked at her ward in contemplation as they walked down the street. The two were at a cosmopolitan strip mall that Naruto wanted to check out; unfortunately it was also inconveniently located in one of the less honorable spots of Konoha. Everywhere Sasuke looked, she saw shady-looking characters that eyed the two lecherously. She held on tightly to her purse and tried to remember if she brought her pepper spray.

Paranoid, she was.

She had a reason for it though if her supermodel good-looks weren't enough of a high cry for attention, that is.

Naruto, on the other hand…

Sasuke scanned over the other.

Naruto was blonde, loud, orange, and looked like she couldn't defend herself for anything. As _if_ Sasuke would fall for her stupid story about catching some serial killer!

"Sasuke!" Naruto twirled around, blonde pigtails swinging innocently around her shoulders. The girl stopped and picked up a red and white hairpin from one of the stalls.

It was shaped like a Japanese fan.

She laughed, "Get it? 'Uchiha'?"

Sasuke tilted her head in disbelief.

Her disbelief must have also shown on her face.

"Ah… y'know… U-'Uchiha' means… 'fan' in Japanese…" Naruto tried to explain, an embarrassed blush coming over her features, "I— uh, I'll just get it for you…" she took out her frog-shaped purse and then turned around quickly to the vendor, "C-can I get this?"

The vendor nodded and chuckled, "Some date you got there," he joked.

Naruto rolled her eyes, "You _wish,_" she muttered, giving him the money she owed. Then she turned around, "Hey, try it on!" she smiled.

The other looked at the accessory in disdain, "Really?" she asked, giving the red and white hairclip a faint look of displeasure.

Naruto nodded earnestly, "Of course!" she stepped closer and Sasuke leaned away.

"I can do it," she glared, taking the hairpin and pulling some of her hair back, "There. You amused?" she asked with a slight tinge on her cheeks. When Naruto nodded, she replied, "Well then…"

And then the hairpin came off and went into her handbag.

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**So, this is the end of the chapter.**

**Now, for anyone who's looked at my pic for FEMME, then you know what's up with the little fan in Sasuke's hair… and the reason why I drew them in bra and underwear…**

…**It makes me want to try out writing a lemon with them—**

**But ANYWAYS…**

**Please Review!**

**-Sohei NICHA**


	3. Chapter 3: Concern Yourself with Us

**Femme**

**Sohei NICHA**

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**Rate: T**

**Genre: Humor**

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**Notes: I****'****m introducing more characters for later!**

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**. F . E . M . M . E. Chapter 3**

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_Blue skies._

_Blue eyes…_

Naruto's blue eyes were everywhere, looking over the marketplace in wonder, "Wow this place is so cool!" she gasped, "And do my eyes deceive me, or is that a ramen stand?" the girl turned around, "Man, I _do_ love that we live in America! It has _everything_— let's go!"

Sasuke growled unintentionally, "Don't make me hurt you…" She looked at her captured hand loathingly.

Naruto laughed, "You can't hurt me!" she boasted.

"The memory in your cheek says otherwise," the Uchiha growled, holding up a slender fist. The blonde shrunk back quickly.

"Hey, Uzumaki!"

The girl turned around and grinned, "Hey, dog breath, where's Akamaru?"

The dog in question yipped and pulled its owner forward energetically by its leash.

… A leash?

"You _never_ put him on a leash!" she knelt over and began to stroke the dog and pat it fervently, "Hey, Sasuke!" she called out.

The brunette froze, mid-step in escape, "Yeah?"

"This," she motioned upward to the brown haired man with the dog, "Is Kiba."

He stuck his free hand out.

"You shake hands with your right hand unless you're disabled," the Uchiha snapped, not bothering to offer her own hand.

Kiba withdrew his hand, slightly offended. He turned to the frozen Naruto and growled lowly, "What."

"Yeah, she's normally like this…" the blonde grinned, "She's 'Sassy' Uchiha. I'm living with her— DACK!"

Next thing she knew, she was holding her cheeks and whimpering like a kicked dog.

"My _name_ is Sasuke!" the woman seethed, letting bother hands drop to her sides, "And you've only known me for _three_ hours, Idiot— _don_'t be so familiar with me!"

Kiba took her hand and shook it vigorously, "Good job, Sasuke." _And if I'm lucky this will turn into a catfight… Hot chicks duking it out… Man watching with a boner… wait_— _no, Kiba, you have more control than that! You have more, oh… darn…_

Naruto whimpered, "But… We're… Living together!" she said sincerely.

_That does not help the picture in my mind right now…_ Drool started to peek from his mouth.

Sasuke noticed.

"God… Damn it." The brunette pulled her hand away from the man's grip, "Do you have anything else you want to get?" she said in monotone to the blonde.

Naruto nodded and waved to Kiba as he left the two alone, "Ramen. And I want to go over to the flower shop and meet up with someone."

Sasuke felt a tanned hand wrap around her wrist and she grunted as she was pulled after the energetic blonde, "Don't drag me along!" she protested.

However, her words were wasted, falling upon deaf ears.

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At the flower shop there just so happen to be a blonde just as blue-eyed and loud-mouthed as Naruto. However, this kind of "loud-mouth" was different and seemingly more… "teenage feminine"…

"How you doing?" the young woman asked excitedly, "Some flowers to brighten your day?"

Naruto placed her elbows on the counter and grinned, "You know it!" she purred. "Do you happen to have Sakura here?"

The blonde behind the counter gave a short "Hah." She straightened and her smile narrowed, "Yeah. Yeah I do…" she murmured, "In the back… with the daily memos posted to her forehead…"

_Oh, so they weren't talking about the flower?_

"Aw, that's funny, Ino," Naruto laughed, "Now where is she?"

"What? Why'd you want to see her— you don't still have a crush on her, _do_ you?"

Sasuke's eyebrows rose in sudden interest although she recovered her stoic expression quickly.

Naruto sputtered, blushing, "O-of course not!" she cried indignantly, "That was in the _sixth_ _grade_! I was still trying things out!"

"Lesbian," Ino muttered snarkily, a faint smirk upon her features as she teased the other, "And I already told you— she's in the back."

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Sakura looked up from her book. "Naruto, what are you doing here? Did Ino-Pig let you in?" She smiled and put the novel down and got up from the couch, "Aren't you supposed to collecting 'data'?" The pink haired woman lightly hit the girl over the head.

"Ah! Sakura, this is Sasuke Uchiha!" the girl tried to defend herself and giggled as the other just tenderly stroked her cheek before suddenly pinching it, "Ow!"

"Hot and cold, Naruto," Sakura growled.

The blonde nodded and then pulled Sasuke forward, "Sasuke, this is Sakura. She's a friend of mine—"

The brunette shrugged and looked away aloofly, "I'm unaware how this matters to me."

"If you're ever in a bind you can ask her for help!" the blonde said proudly, "I've known her ever since elementary school and she's super awesome—" she thought for a moment, "So, do you have the stuff?"

Sakura "Oh"-ed and then went over to a bookcase, patting over the higher shelves and then touching what she needed to give.

"Here's the envelope with the crack and the doujinshi scans," she said, face straight.

Sasuke's eye twitched, "_Crack_?"

"Sakura— don't joke like that!" Naruto yelped, opening and showing the brunette the contents, "_She'll_ hit me!"

The pink haired girl shrugged and smiled, "Hit her back. You can do it."

"But I don't want to! I'm living with her and if I make her mad then she'll throw me out!"

"Damn right I will," the Uchiha growled.

"And she takes me out." The blonde looked into the manila envelope and then gave a soft "Oh— is this the yaoi scan you were talking about?"

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**Poking fun at you guys!**

**I figured that I'd go around and play off of the manga chapter where Konohamaru shows the sexy-jutsus he made up (like Sakura's reaction to the second one…)**

**Of course Naruto would react more to the yaoi than the yuri right now— it's the same with in the manga when he reacted to the yuri as opposed to the yaoi.**

**But then again…**

**Sakura will seem more like her kick-ass self later when things start to boil up. I promise.**

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**HOLY CRAP!****: I had SO MUCH trouble getting this up! Thank GOD I subscribed to Imitation Angel's story "Idol Obsession". She/he(?) found out a way to get the story up due to somebody else... maybe?**

**Well, anyways, I'll be updating soon again.**

**The chapters so far are already typed up, so I'll be sure to make them longer after I get past the chapters I already wrote.**

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**Sohei NICHA**


	4. Chapter 4: Distract Us

**Femme**

**Sohei NICHA**

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**Rate: T**

**Genre: Humor/Drama**

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**Notes:** Alright— things only start to heat up from here! (And it's still mostly introduction right now and still short, but I hope you don't mind!)

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**. F . E . M . M . E. Chapter 4**

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Just as Kiba shook the Uchiha's hand and congratulated her for asserting herself, Akamaru barked and then deterred from his original goal of being pet wildly by Naruto (which he was making be shown through his jumping all over the blonde girl). The large dog's head snapped up and swiveled as he sniffed the air fervently. It perked and then jumped around in the same spot.

Growling, its eyes narrowed

"Eh, what's up, boy?" Kiba snapped off of his lewd train of thought, looked around and tried to identify the source of his dog's attention— its confusion. "Mailman— EH?"

The dog began to pull him away hurriedly, and he looked over his shoulder to the occupied women, "Na—"

_Aw, it's fine— she's in good hands…_ he thought to himself in reassurance before being led away by his white mutt.

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Sakura looked on her computer screen, "Just give the pages to Shikamaru, okay, Naruto?" she murmured. "He'll know what to do with them."

The blonde looked at the scans and blushed, "You mean… give him the _credits_… right?"

Sakura nodded, "Yeah, _and_ the scans— I got the doujinshi— _he_ has to translate it now."

"Why? … _Oh_…"

Sasuke peeked at the papers out of the corner of her eye and then quickly looked away, "…" she flushed slightly but otherwise didn't react.

The phone rang and then Ino's voice was heard when Sakura picked it up.

"Hey, you think you can help out, Billboard brow?" The blonde florist asked hastily, "I don't know what's going on, but it's suddenly gotten busy as Hell in there. It's weird!" she smirked on the other end of the line, "But, it's not like I don't like all the attention that I'm getting… as compared to when _we_ hang out!" the young woman snarled as the other shrugged.

"I _am_ working, Pig…" Sakura smirked at the other, "College online is actually not just fun and games…"

Ino rolled her eyes from the other end, "What are you getting _this_ time?"

"Bachelor's," the pink haired woman shrugged as if it was no big deal, "Oh, and Naruto, don't cause any trouble." She smiled and turned from her computer to wave, "Bye, Miss. Sasuke!"

Naruto frowned slightly— she could have sworn that there was a slight tinge of pink on the pink-haired female's face…

But she _wasn't_ quite sure.

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The Uchiha and her companion walked down the stairs, "Bachelor's?" she asked.

Naruto bit her lip and tensed a little bit, "Yeah…" she said slowly, "Sakura's really smart. I kinda wish I was like her."

Sasuke's eyebrows rose, "How… old is she exactly, Naruto?"

"Twenty-five, I think…" the blonde scratched the marks on her cheek, "She's _so_ book smart— she's so cool!"

"Hn…"

The two got to the end of the hall and froze as they saw the huge crowd that had accumulated inside of the small shop. There was a line at the counter and Ino waved to the two, "C'mon, guys, buy something!" she shouted laughingly. Then, to her customer, "That beautiful bouquet is sixty nine dollars and ninety nine cents," she purred to the young man.

He blushed and dug into his wallet for a credit card.

The two women shook their heads and headed to the door.

Something, however, caught Naruto's eye. She smiled brightly and pushed through the many people piled up inside of the shop, hand grasping the other's wrist so that they wouldn't become separated.

"See this one?" Naruto grinned, pointing to the strong potted plant in awe, "It's a…" she read the label on the stalk, "tomato plant! Can we get it, Sasuke?" she clasped her hands together, "I promise to take care of it!"

Sasuke scoffed, "Why a tomato plant?" although her mouth watered at the idea.

The blonde grinned and her blue eyes closed into two upside-down "U"s, "So that I can water it and so that _you_ can get off on it!"

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A shriek startled the crowd and they all turned around.

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Naruto rubbed her head (a new lump forming on her abused skull) and then looked out the window of the flower shop, seeing a familiar face. She frowned and then pulled her jacket tighter around herself before silently handing the Uchiha the manila envelope that wouldn't fit in her purse, pushing past everyone, and sprinting out into the street.

Sasuke looked up, surprised, "Naru—?". The other was already out the door. Her lips parted in confusion before she grunted and went after the other.

"Hey— you!" the blonde shouted to the figure on the other side of the street, stopping at the road as a car whizzed by in front of her. "Wait!" Another car sped by and she prepared to bolt across after it passed by her; suddenly there was a grasp on her arm that pulled her back as another car shot out at her.

She spun around.

"What the _Hell_ are you doing?" Sasuke yelled.

Naruto's eyes went back to where the figure should have been and then she felt her heart sink. "Shit…" she muttered.

"_Answer_ me—" the brunette growled, "Running out of the store and then trying to get across the road when there's traffic… I knew you were an idiot, but not that you were willing to risk your life over something—" she was cut off as Naruto's blue eyes rounded back on her, looking a bit more furious than she felt. She narrowed her dark eyes in response.

The two stood there on the sidewalk, glaring heatedly at each other as people discreetly avoided them.

After a long moment, Sasuke's grasp on the blonde softened and she let go, expression weakening. Naruto's eyes wavered.

"…" Naruto sighed, defeated, "I thought I saw somebody…" she murmured, looking down, "I've been after him for a while now…"

Sasuke frowned, "A crush?" she sighed, "He must be on your mind a lot… just don't risk your life over him. I know you're headstrong and spontaneous, but…" she looked up at the darkening sky, "No man is worth dying for."

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**Even though Sakura's getting her Bachelor's, she's still around 25— she's super smart and jumped some school time (However, she still isn't Shikamaru level— She's just more driven than he is and decided that this was going to be the way that it was…)**

**Sohei NICHA**


	5. Chapter 5: Cover Us

**Femme**

**Sohei NICHA**

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**Rate: T**

**Genre: Humor/Drama**

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**Notes:** So, this one is out… It starts off a bit angst, but gets better.

Anyways, **WolfsRain**, I actually _do_ intend to put some lemony Yuri in here at some point. It's gonna be great. So, in case any of you girls out there get squeamish, I warned you. It just depends on whether you read this warning or not… So the rating will go up… at some point if I'm not lazy…

**ALSO**: I'm trying to make the chapters longer.

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**. F . E . M . M . E. Chapter 5**

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Sasuke's brow furrowed and she crossed her arms, stopping to let the other catch up to her. She felt a drop of rain land on her cheek and looked up. Her eyes narrowed slightly and her brow furrowed. Her heart thumped loudly in her chest, not seeming to calm down from her fear and anger from before.

How dare that blonde _Idiot_ try to run into the street like that?

There was no way that she would die while under the Uchiha woman's watch.

…There was no way Sasuke would _let_ that happen…

Her gaze hardened, _"Unless that Idiot's asking for it…" _she concluded.

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Naruto sighed and looked forward at the other woman as she stood there, face turned to the dark sky. She reflected on what the Uchiha had said before…

"_No man is worth dying for…"_

She frowned a bit.

_Maybe…_ she thought to herself. She approached the other, "I didn't _need_ you to wait for me," she said stubbornly, voice harsher than she wanted it to be.

"Hn." Sasuke turned around, "The weatherman didn't mention anything about rain… Well, whatever. I don't want to take care of you when you get sick, or hurt, or whatever— it'd be a pain— so just hurry up before it starts to pour, or if you decide to run into a street again." She began to walk away, "Now hurry up, Idiot."

Naruto's brows furrowed and her hands shook as a deep blush covered her cheeks, "'A pain'?" she repeated as the rain started to fall faster, "Wait up, Sasuke!" she growled, dashing forward to grab the other by the arm and turn her around—

However, when she suddenly found herself face to face with the proud woman…

She saw Sasuke's pale, pale skin and the slight crease in between her slender eyebrows; she saw drops of rain cling onto inky eyelashes before splashing down to imitate tears. She saw those deep black eyes reflect her back out as if she didn't really exist…

Naruto bit her lip and watched as Sasuke's rose-tinted lips parted and moved to form words that she probably didn't care to listen to.

She was snapped out of her stupor as a hand went flying at her face.

The blonde pulled away and felt the air shift from the fast motion, and rain droplets splash horizontally into her face. She had no doubt in her mind that the hit would have been hard enough to send her to the ground.

"Here's your package," Sasuke took the manila envelope from her bag and shoved it into Naruto's arms and pulled away, "Get back to the house before seven, and look in the fridge if you need any food," she spat.

Naruto glared heavily, her tears refusing to be released; then she turned around, listening to the other walk away, eyes shut tight.

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Naruto quickly folded and shoved the envelope into the inside pocket of her jacket. She spun around and ducked into an alleyway, watching the brunette stalk away. Her blue eyes still stung with slight tears and she scrunched up her nose, wiping them and a slight build-up of snot away.

_Stupid Sasuke…_ she grumbled, holding her purse closer to herself and then following when the woman turned the corner. She unstealthily knocked over a trashcan, looked at it worriedly, and then picked up all of the wet garbage and righting the tin can— berating herself the whole time.

Luckily, the brunette was still in her line of vision, looking intently at something in a store window; Sasuke was standing under an awning and seemed very dry as compared to herself. Naruto's eyes narrowed as the woman walked into the store. Then, she ran forward, just close enough so that she could easily catch up to the other; looking around, she found that she couldn't find a hiding place.

She panicked and then looked down at her soaking clothes with a groan, "This is so…" the blonde grumbled, shivering. She was cold and wet and distraught— silently watching over Sasuke because she was still concerned for the woman was _not_ helping anything. Suddenly, the door opened and Sasuke came out, holding onto a soft-looking, dome-shaped, navy blue umbrella with elegant white trimming.

Naruto's eyebrows rose at the sight. "…It really suits her…" she murmured, blushing slightly. She then saw a rolled up package under the woman's arm and pouted.

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"This is stupid, Naruto," Sasuke said, turning around to look at the other who currently looked like a drowned rat, "Just get over here."

The blonde slumped and then dragged her feet, grumbling something under her breath.

When the girl reached her, Sasuke held out the package, "This one's for you," she said, shoving it into Naruto's arms and then turning away to leave the other under the awning, "I'm not waiting for you."

Out of curiosity, the blonde unwrapped the package.

Her jaw dropped and a huge flush adorned her face.

She looked up and held onto the item, running down the street to the other, "Sasuke, Sasuke!" she laughed, jumping the brunette from behind and then stepping in front of her. Naruto held up the present, "Get it?" she cooed, "'Uzumaki'?"

The item opened, showing a tangerine colored umbrella patterned with a large, deeper colored spiral that twisted out from the center to the edge.

The blonde spun around with it, nearly knocking into the other and a nearby café table; laughing out of joy the whole time.

"Nobody's _ever_ given me such a cute present before!" she said, wrapping an arm around Sasuke's shoulders.

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_Don't blush._

_Don't blush._

_Don't— DON'T!_

Sasuke could feel her ears start to burn as the other chattered obliviously beside her.

Feeling as if she needed to clarify something, she turned, "_Look_, Naruto, I didn't—?"

The wet blonde looked directly into her eyes, full pink lips pulled tight in the crescent shape of her smile, bright eyes almost the same color as the rain…

She felt her throat close up and more blood shoot to her face.

"Ah— _I'm going home_!" she pulled herself away and walked brusquely in the direction of her house.

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"Ah! Wait up, Sasuke!" Naruto grinned

The other kept on walking

She wanted to say, "That was so cute!" but figured that the other was already too embarrassed for any more of what she could dish out.

There was a bounce in her step as they walked. She didn't care that it was pouring rain, grey, and altogether bad weather…

Or that, unbeknownst to them, a dark figure watched the two as they returned home.

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**Okay, I just wanted to crank up the suspense.**

**Weren't they cute?**

… **I just watched the clip in Shippuden when Sai tries to kiss Naruto…**

**Sai, Naruto doesn't "swing that way"…**

**He swings Sasuke's way.**

**But anyways, it was hilarious.**

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**Sohei NICHA**


	6. Chapter 6: Clutch Us

**Femme**

**Sohei NICHA**

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**Rate: T**

**Genre: Humor/Drama**

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**Notes:** YAY Les-yay ! This chapter used to hold part of chapter seven, but it got WAY too long, so I was _forced_ to move that part I had originally written down in _this_ chapter to the next chapter. It has even _more_ Les-yay there than in here!

Please wait patiently!

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**. F . E . M . M . E. Chapter 6**

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Sasuke was dreaming.

Dreaming of a sunny day— a warm day— a warm place where she could just relax and sleep in.

She closed her eyes and felt the heat of the sun warm her pale body…

And then suddenly she wasn't he only one in her dream.

She tried to ignore the new presence and growled a little.

It lay atop her, looking down at her. The woman opened one dark eye, looking straight into the tiny fox's prodding blue eyes.

She shut her eyes and tried to pretend that it wasn't there, even though she knew it already knew that she saw it.

It bent over and then put its paws atop her chest and then started to lick her lips with its tiny tongue.

The brunette turned her head but it persisted, licking earnestly along her jaw with its rough little tongue to wherever it could reach.

She growled.

It growled…

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Sasuke slowly opened her eyes and then groaned a bit, trying to get up from her comfortable bed before closing her eyes again when she found that she couldn't move. Just like that, Sasuke would allow sleep to overtake her. The sheets were so soft and so alluring, the pillows were so plushy, and the bed itself just so happen to be so much more welcoming than usual.

It was warm.

She cuddled into the needy heat source behind her and then frowned, suddenly uneasy for some weird reason…

This was not normal— she was always at ease in her own bed, so this was either not her bed, or…

Her eyes shot open and she slowly turned her head around.

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A pained cry pierced the peaceful morning.

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Naruto held her throbbing cheek and fell messily onto the floor, dragging a sheet along with her in her descent. "The Hell was _that_ for?" she yelled angrily.

"Don't spoon me if you don't want to get hit!" the brunette defended, pulling the covers up to her chest. She pulled her tank top strap back up her shoulder forcefully, "And also, why aren't you in the room I set up for you?"

"I was lonely in there!"

The two glared heavily at each other, faces red, before turning away immaturely.

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Kiba frowned as he looked at the ripped, patterned cloth in his hand.

Akamaru's chase had led him to this one piece of seemingly meaningless piece of rust red fabric at the edge of an alleyway near the center of town.

The man's eyes narrowed.

This color was never good.

He looked at his watch quickly. Eight A.M.

_Damn it. Another all-nighter…_

He sighed. "C'mon, Akamaru," he said to the dog, "Let's get some shut eye."

The dog barked and then the two walked to a house at the corner of the street. Kiba reached out to the door, but the knob turned and he was face to face with a man in sunglasses and a very concealing, high-collared coat. It took a moment for him to register that the man was there, but then he grinned.

"I leave this in your hands, Shino," he yawned.

"Nn…" The newly awakened man nodded, petting the dog before walking out into the streets of Konoha and looking at a lone beetle that meandered its way through the slightly moist, but sunny atmosphere of the new day.

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Naruto looked out the window and then grinned, "Hey, I'm gonna go give the packet of scans to my friend Shika, Sasuke, so I'll see you later, okay?" she said, slipping her orange jacket on and biting into the piece of toast on her plate. She chewed and spoke, "Oh, and stay here so you can open the door for me when I get back!"

"What happened to _your_ keys?" Sasuke growled after taking a sip of her morning tea, still unhappy from the unexpected wake-up from before.

The blonde shrugged and swallowed, "It's… somewhere…"

"'_Somewhere'_?" the brunette repeated in disbelief, managing not to slam the Japanese cup in her hand down upon the table.

Naruto nodded, "Over the rainbow."

And then she stepped out the door before the Uchiha could respond any further.

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"What the Hell happened to your face?"

Naruto blushed a bit, remembering the events of the morning. "Nothing, but here are your 'yaoi scans', Shika," she sniggered.

The dark haired man flushed and then looked at the offending packet in embarrassment, "Why do they have to _do_ this to me?"

The blonde's grin widened even further, "It's _really_ juicy, y'know…"

"Find the code for me— I'm _not_ looking in there." Shikamaru closed his eyes and refused the envelope as Naruto held it out to him, "Unlike you guys, I don't spend my time looking at men…"

"…" Naruto sweatdropped, "W-well… it's not like I look at that _all_ the time…" she tried to reason.

The stark look that the man gave her was enough of a reason to fish out the credits page.

His eyes scanned over the piece of paper and then he laid it out on his desk.

"Alright…" he muttered, "Troublesome…" he took a stray pencil off of his desk and then began to write rapidly on another leaf of paper, looking at the scan the whole time.

"What's it say so far?"

"… More about your mission, but I don't get why it's all in code. Couldn't they just tell it all to you straight up?"

"… I think they said it was background info on Sasuke's brother… Uh," she shook her head, "I don't know— it's not like I really pay attention to that kind of stuff… I mean… I learn a lot on the job…"

Shikamaru leaned back from the paper and then quirked an eyebrow, "… True…" he murmured. "But thank God you didn't learn _everything_ like that."

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Sasuke looked around in her condo and wondered why she was still hanging around by herself. _Why_ she was actually listening to that idiot who probably would get back to the door and find herself locked out for hours and hours…

And hours and hours…

… If _she_, herself, left…

The woman groaned and then rubbed at her temple.

She had things to do— Naruto was holding her back.

Quickly, Sasuke looked at the clock on the wall and picked up her keys from the kitchen counter. She took her coat from the hanger by the door and grabbed her purse before slipping out the door, assuring herself that she would be back within the hour and most _definitely_ before the blonde returned.

…

The store was only around the corner anyways, so…

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She looked down the aisle of the supermarket, quickly looking at her list and then checking the delicate watch on her wrist, feeling strangely like a wife getting food for her husband who ate too much.

The brunette's eyes narrowed and the list crumpled in her hold. "…Milk…" she growled.

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**Alright, so I'll leave this chapter off here and then you can read chapter seven next time!**

**(Tell me if I convert any of you guys!**

**Reviewing is always the best way!)**

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**Also, HAPPY BELATED APRIL FOOL'S DAY!**

**.**

**Sohei NICHA**


	7. Chapter 7: Scare Us

**Femme**

**Sohei NICHA**

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**Rate: T**

**Genre: Humor/Drama**

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**Notes:** YAY Les-yay ! This part was originally in chapter six, but in order for time to seem more… time-y, I changed it and now it's here (proportionate?). I'm trying to make the chapters longer, but let me know if you need them any longer than this. I can't really tell the difference on word docs...

.

Thus, the debut of longer chapters!

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**. F . E . M . M . E. Chapter 7**

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It was now the afternoon.

Sasuke had taken much longer than she thought she was going to take and wound up actually spending a few calming hours at the marketplace getting food and then looking at and trying out some new teas.

They were very good.

She opened the front door carefully and then sighed in relief when she found it was still dark inside of the condo.

"_...Why am I sneaking into my own home?"_ She growled and then put her grocery bags down on the dinner table.

She turned on the lights, closed the door, and then stepped into the kitchen area with her bags, putting the groceries away carefully and then folding the paper bags and shoving them behind the trashcan quickly.

A smirk.

She was back before Naruto was here— that slowpoke.

My _God_, she could gloat about this if she were the type to gloat!

Sasuke filled a glass with cold tap water and then stepped out to the couch to read her book before the Idiot got back.

She was definitely satisfied…

She was in the clear—

Blue eyes turned to her and she threw her glass at the couch in surprise.

"Wha—" she yelled in disbelief, "the Hell are _you_ doing here?"

Naruto smirked despite her face and shirt currently dripping with the cold liquid; she held up the now empty cup and then licked at the rim, "Just waiting for you, Sassy."

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Shino sat at a café table, simply watching people pass by him. He had a thin, black laptop before him and he was busy quickly typing something out, eyes frequently roaming around the area as fast-tempo-d taps resounded around his fingers.

It didn't matter what it was that he was typing, but he was currently on his fortieth page since nine this morning.

"…" He thought to himself momentarily before turning around, "You mind?" he asked bluntly, "What'd you think I'm doing? I'm trying to get published so maybe I can get famous."

The man behind him snorted, "…You serious?" he asked awkwardly, rubbing at a purple smudge of paint on his cheek, "Aaah… I didn't think you were that kind of guy, Aburame."

Shino stared dryly at the brunet man, "Am I that kind of guy? …Yes, Kankuro." He turned back around, leaving the other man confused.

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_11:46:35 A.M._

"_Sasuke is so cute," Sakura sighed over the phone, watching the dark-haired woman sniff a cup of sienna liquid and then relax. "Naruto, you should be watching this right now. She's buying tea… She has the most innocent expression ever…"_

_Naruto groaned, "I want to see it!" she whined, "Can't you _record_ it?"_

_The pink-haired woman chuckled, "Shino, you're gold," she murmured, enthralled with her computer screen and ignoring her companion on the phone._

"_Hey! Are you listening to me? Record it, 'ttebayo!"_

_Sakura made a noise at the back of her throat, "I'm so jealous of Shino right now. He gets to observe this all firsthand… I feel like such a fangirl."_

_Naruto gave a frustrated cry before yelping, "Don't hit me!"_

"_I didn't hit you, Naruto… Troublesome…" Shikamaru grumbled, "You're just too noisy…" Then his voice dropped down, "…And your butt was just… there."_

"_But Sakura's looking at her being cute… she never acts cute around me!"_

"…"

_Sakura tore her eyes away from the screen, "Did you get the message?"_

_Naruto's eyebrows furrowed, "Yeah. Thanks, Sakura," she picked up the written piece of paper on the desk, "Are you sure that that's all I need to know?"_

"_For the moment, yes," the green eyed woman replied, "But I'll let you know everything else straight next time. I, uh…" she chuckled in embarrassment, "I got a little into the codes and scans and… it was just too good to pass up."_

"…"

"_Oh, and, Naruto," Sakura added, "Isn't Sasuke supposed to be at home?"_

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The dark-haired man looked at the photograph in his hand. His eyes narrowed as he examined the seemingly carefree subjects in the image. He traced a long, pale finger over the figures and then started to shred at the useless, unneeded edges of the photograph that only held background.

He knew this area.

Of course he knew this area—

He grew up in the damn place; of _course_ he knew where the Hell they were!

"_Who's_ that getting close to Sasuke?" the man growled, straightening from his seated slump.

His companion smiled, "Hangover?"

A glare.

"Ah— I d-don't really know who she is," the companion answered quickly, "Some loud, dumb blonde? She seems to be living with her… at the moment." He shakily held out a round, white pill and then took a lukewarm bottle of water out from his jacket pocket.

"Living with her?" the dark-haired man repeated hollowly, taking both items and then swallowing the pill after five painstaking tries.

"…Yeah. That's what I… said… Uh, hey, are you okay?"

"… What's her name?" the man spat, trying to take the focus off of himself and his pitiful state. "Answer now. Don't make me kick your ass in—"

"Ah— I— ah— I already said that I— I don't know!" The companion backed up instinctively— this man really _would_ kick his ass in— he knew it.

The dark-haired man pulled forward from his seat in the shadows, eyes glowing from the shadows, pale lips drawn in a snarl. "_Figure. It. Out…!"_

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"Y'know, you were _very_ cute getting me that umbrella yesterday."

Sasuke quickly turned away from the other woman, her ears red with her flush. Her shoulders tensed up and she bristled, "Well, I'm not getting you anything else!"

"Aw, c'mon, Sasuke," Naruto laughed heartily from the couch and scratched at her stomach, revealing a large, black swirling-tribal tattoo upon her belly button, "Get over it. I was just _teasing_ you!"

The brunette slammed down the vegetables she was washing for dinner. "Be more considerate! Don't joke with me!" she growled, holding the knife up to point at the other. Her eye twitched violently and she turned back away to chop at her mangled food, "Idiot…"

Naruto shrugged and then looked at the television to watch the news at six unfold.

The anchorwoman spoke with a thin smile about how three more women had been taken by the serial killer. The bodies had been found just the other day; each of the women had been killed in different ways, but they all had the same mark: their eyes gouged out with three cycling tomoe drawn upon their eyelids. The anchorwoman flipped her pink-ish hair from her brown eyes and then began to give a description of similarities between the killer's victims' bodies and whatnot.

The blonde's blue eyes narrowed as the news story progressed, "I don't like this," she muttered, flipping the channel to a less serious show: Spongebob Squarepants.

Annoying, high-pitched, nasally giggles filled the room and she could hear Sasuke begin to chop even more furiously and fast than before— stopping the action in seconds. A large grin split the blonde's face and then she breathed in, "Yow!" She jumped up from the couch and swung herself over the back athletically, "Darling, that smells _great_!" the young woman then skipped to the brunette's side and was surprised when the other didn't respond.

She looked into the woman's face and saw a deep frown marring her features.

"Eh? Sasuke?" she asked, a bit unsure of herself.

No response.

"Sasuke?"

She contemplated poking or prodding at the other, but didn't want to be lashed out at just yet. It would definitely be far too much of a surprise; and in the kitchen, rough-housing was dangerous— and painful.

However, that didn't stop her from gently reaching out and cupping the woman's cheek, turning her to look at her. "Sasuke? Are you alright?"

Sasuke's eyes widened. Without thinking, she raised her hand, knife still in her grasp.

Naruto shrieked and as the blade was thrust forward, she let go of the other and threw herself backwards into a bridge. As her hands touched the wooden floor, she gasped and then let herself fall back gently, a feeling of uncertainty in her gut as she analyzed the expression on Sasuke's face.

The brunette turned, put the knife down on the counter, and then bit her lip. "Crap…" she muttered to herself.

"'Crap'?" Naruto repeated in disbelief, "'Crap'?" her mouth opened and then closed, "You almost skewer my eyeball and you say '_crap'_?" she pushed her back off of the floor, "'Crap' because you missed, or 'crap' because you didn't mean to?"

"…You surprised me—"

The blonde held her jittering stomach, "No… wrong— _you_ surprised _me_!" she sighed.

Sasuke's eyebrows furrowed and then she hesitantly held out her hand to the blonde who bit her lip and then made a motion as if to slap the offered hand away before thinking otherwise and clasping it in her own hand. Pulling, the brunette rocked backwards slightly and found herself and the blonde chest to chest, warm breaths intermingling— lips heating against each other's warm presence— eyelashes fluttering together in their daze.

She gasped quietly and then pushed the other away, pale hand lingering on the warm abdomen for a slight moment before being torn away.

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**Tell me if I convert you!**

**The focus is a bit less on their sexual tension at the moment though, so please be patient! Also, I am trying to make these chapters longer than the other first few, Mm'Kay?**

**Also, the "dark-haired man" can be one of **_**three**_** possible villains right now… Just sayin'.**

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**Sohei NICHA**


	8. Chapter 8: Feed Us

**Femme**

**Sohei NICHA**

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**Rate: T**

**Genre: Humor/Drama**

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**Notes:** _Now_ we get into more relationshippy things? I don't know— it _might_ happen? Well, anyways, this next week is going to be my school vacation, so I'm not going to update then… or at least I don't plan to. So, just a heads up!

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**. F . E . M . M . E. Chapter 8**

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Naruto stood, unmoving— cheeks red.

It had been a while since Sasuke had left the kitchen and still, the blonde couldn't find it in herself to move at all— her heart was beating too fast— her head was reeling— her nose—

"_GAH—! The stove!"_

She quickly turned to the stove and then turned it off, coughing and batting the heavy, dark smoke away from her face, eyes watering all the while

"Ow. Ow. Ow… Ow…" she rubbed her blue eyes and then turned on the fan to vent the air around her. The blonde then tried to take the pan of burnt food off of the stove, dropping it onto the floor clumsily before she stumbled over to the window and opened it wide, letting all of the stinging gas out the window.

"_Sasuke_!" she thought to herself as she breathed fresh air in, "…_— she's so pretty!" _Naruto stopped and then gawked out the window, leaning precariously over the edge, "Wait— uh, I mean— she's so— so— AUGH!

"_I DON'T HATE HER!_" she screamed out the window.

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Sasuke, on the other hand, was trying to keep herself as silent as possible, staring into a currently upside-down book intently, and trying to ignore the world around her as best as she could. Her grip on the book was slowly increasing as time went on and as she heard the blonde on the other side of the door cough, mutter something quickly, and make a racket.

This was not going to end well.

She rolled off of her bed, stormed across her room and then opened the door, ready to yell at her—

"I DON'T HATE HER!"

Then, "SHE'S ACTUALLY VERY GOOD-LOOKING!"

Sasuke flushed and slammed the door shut.

"_That Idiot!"_ she thought to herself in a panic, "_W-what if the neighbors hear her?"_ Sasuke slapped her palm to her forehead and fell to her knees, "_God damn it— who _cares_ about the neighbors? She— she's so… so— AUGH!"_

The brunette bit her lip and then turned her harsh gaze to a picture frame on her nightstand. "Mom, dad…" she muttered, "Are you proud of your stressed out daughter…?" Sasuke slowly crawled to the frame and then took it off of the table, "I owed Kakashi a favor and now I have to take care of this… Idiot…" She let her forehead fall to her palm and tried not to whimper pathetically in front of her father's image, "I'm gonna get grey hairs… And now I realize how annoying Spongebob is… I'm sorry, dad."

"Augh! Sasuke!"

She looked up as her door slammed open roughly.

Naruto ran over to her windows, "We need to open these…" she mumbled, blushing suddenly, "And air out the place… S-since there's so much… smoke…" she trailed off and shyly cracked the window open.

Sasuke nodded and then stood up, placing the picture carefully back on her nightstand. She crawled over her bed and then opened the other window, leaning away from the blonde in the process.

Naruto opened her mouth as if to say something important but then grinned abashedly, "I'm sorry for scaring you before!" she scratched at the back of her head and then looked down at her shoes quickly. "I-I've been doing some venting…"

"I noticed."

The blonde choked, "Ah— w-well…" her eyes were wide and the heat in her cheeks was overflowing into her neck, "I'm sorry for frightening you before. It wasn't your fault that you reacted the way you did with the knife…" she suddenly closed her mouth and then bit her lip. "It's… just… not your fault…"

Blue eyes coincidentally shifted to the corner of a window and then narrowed slightly at what they saw.

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Kakashi looked up from his orange book, "Ah? Is there something wrong, Sakura?" he asked. "We both know that you have no right to yell at me for the things I read since you read—" He was silenced by a trembling hand.

"Don't talk…" the pink haired woman smiled, "Because we both know that I can find a way to knock you through the roof, Kakashi-sensei."

(This was, of course, another way of saying: "I am nothing like you, you Pervert.")

The man smiled, "…Yes." he admitted to her _spoken_ words.

Sakura's smile was still in her place when she pulled out a file, "Look this over." she said, "What do you notice about Shino and Kiba's observations?"

"… Well, the killer's been taking a break, but…" Kakashi flipped through the papers. His eyebrows rose, "cloth? With the blood of one of the victims from _last_ year… and… _her's_?" Concern clouded his face, "We should let Naruto know."

As her expression changed, Sakura nodded, "I'm glad, because… that's what I thought too." She ran a hand through her hair, "But, Danzo's in charge right now while Tsunade's sick…"

Their eyes met.

"That's trouble," The silver-haired man breathed.

"Che!" Sakura spat, "We'll never get anything done—" she ran a hand through her hair, "And at this rate Hidden Leaf will be so far behind and then _he_ will inevitably... UGH! That man is conceited and corrupt! WHO THE HELL PUT HIM IN CHARGE?" she snarled. One of her fists balled up.

Kakashi held up his hands in defense, "Let's go the gym," he said, "Release all your stress… I know you've been trying to get your cover-up work done and all, and when you have our work to do too…"

"BACHELOR'S DEGREE— SHANDARO!"

"…!"

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Ino looked up from her flower log, "Hey, Chouji, did you hear something explode?"

The man shrugged and placed a piece of freshly grilled meat in his mouth, "It sounded a lot like your smart friend with the pink hair was outside killing something, but I don't know… I have a pretty wild imagination sometimes..."

The blonde laughed, "That's ridiculous, Sakura's totally tame. Also, your mind doesn't run off _that_ much, Chou."

He smiled and blushed a bit, "Ah, thanks… you know, I'm a bit concerned though. I mean, you've only known her for four weeks and she's living under your roof—"

A smile. "Fast friends."

"What if she's a con-woman?"

The woman's expression suddenly switched. "She's _worthy_ of trust!" Ino said defensively, putting down the log with a slap. "I _know_ because she's been helping me the whole time!" Her eyebrows were knit together, "She's a good person and I can't believe you'd doubt my sense of judgment…"

Chouji began to shove more pieces of meat into his mouth, but this time even faster than before. In fact, it seemed as if he was doing it simply because he didn't want to say anything or as if he didn't know what to say.

"…" Ino's blue eyes were on the table, "Don't eat so fast," she murmured, picking up a piece and then gloomily staring at it, "You'll get a stomachache, and if you do, then I'll never take you out again…"

_Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp…_

She turned the page and then her eyes widened, "Oh?" she gasped quietly. Her hand went up to her mouth as she stared intently at the thing, brain slowly processing the information on the sheet.

"N— eh? What?" the man reached over the table to look at the paper, but suddenly Ino shoved it into her chest with a huge flush.

"YOU CAN'T LOOK AT IT!" she shouted.

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There was a silence in the barbecue bar as everyone turned to the stall where a beautiful young woman was clutching at her chest while her rather thick male companion questionably held out a hand very much near her chest…

Immediately soft, disapproving murmurs filled the room and Chouji felt all of his blood rush to his brain, making him dizzy.

Ino blushed even further in sudden fury, "I-it's… it's not what you think!" she cried, "G— …GO EAT YOUR FOOD, YOU NOSEY PEOPLE!"

Everyone quickly did as they were told.

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Sakura shot out with a wrapped fist, "GOD DAMN UNDERCOVER MISSION!" she shouted, causing the punching bag to swing out and back around to her. She lashed out with a leg, folding it in half with the force. "GOD DAMN ONLINE SCHOOLING!" The woman roared, "CHE! MAKING ME WORK HARDER THAN I NEED TO!" A thought crossed her mind and then she shouted again, "IT'S NOT LIKE I _HAVE_ TO DO IT— IT'S JUST THAT IF I DON'T THEN I CAN'T _STAND_ IT!"

A dark haired young man with a bowl-cut watched her from the corner of a boxing ring, "Yeah, Sakura!" he smiled. He watched her run at him with a burning passion in his eyes, "I know— LET'S CONNECT TOGETHER YOUTHFULLY, SAKURA, MY DEAR!"

"ROCK LEE!" the pink haired woman shouted, throwing herself into a fighting stance, "LET'S GET THIS!"

The man grinned, "Yes, Sakura-dear! I will do my best to appease you!" He gave a thumbs up and a wink but then calmed down and blushed, "But, would you please go out with me—?" He dodged a fist and nervously looked up at the beautiful woman from his crouch.

"_This_ first!" Sakura smirked, green eyes glinting in the light.

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Naruto sat in her room in uncharacteristic silence.

She whipped out her orange phone and started typing out familiar numbers; she waited. There was a dial tone.

She waited.

"Mmm…?"

"Shikamaru."

"… There's only one person with that voice…" the man on the other side muttered. "What?" he picked at the inside of his free ear and then sighed, leaning back in his chair lazily— something he was very well known for being. Then, with a quietness that made him strain his ears just a bit, he heard the other:

"… She's really cute."

"… Wha—?" he almost fell out of his seat when the message sunk in. However, at that time, Naruto had already hung up and head to the kitchen.

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Kakashi looked around aloofly, content now that he had escaped joining Sakura at the gym while she was in another bad mood due to lack of overall rest. The cemetery was silent, but outside of the gates was loud with honking horns and chattering life.

He looked at the delicate, white flowers that were left at the foot of the gravestone— how they glinted and glowed, as if they were otherworldly or embodying a ghost of the past for him to talk to, and suddenly he felt indescribably nervous…

"Obito…" he spoke quietly, running a hand through his hair.

The man looked up into the quickly darkening night sky, the cars, the ice cream building on the other side of the street— _anywhere_ but the tombstone and those sparkling, pearl flowers…

"I believe that…" he stopped to swallow, "I believe Sasuke is in great danger…"

The petals on the flowers seemed to tremble a bit as a breeze made its way around rows and rows of graves— as if the person he was trying to talk to suddenly bristled and then wanted to lash out at him…

Kakashi sighed and then crouched down, "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry for saying all of this, but I don't know how she got involved…" He touched his left eye suddenly, "We just suddenly found some of her DNA along with another victim's on a cloth in an alleyway over near where Kiba was watching…" he frowned, mismatched eyes narrowing, "It might have just been coincidence…"

The lie was blatant even to his own ears.

"But, on a good note… the killer hasn't been active lately…?" he tried to smile but couldn't force himself to do it.

He heard a rustle behind him and then twisted his head around, laying eyes on a shadow of a person.

They looked past him onto the grave, black eyes focused. They held a finger up to their lips as if the action alone could keep him silent.

Kakashi frowned and then pulled out a bright orange book from his coat pocket, "Obito," he muttered into the bound pages, "We'll keep her safe."

Then, as he stepped past the figure, their eyes met, sending a jolt down the silver-haired man's spine.

The black eyes seemed to be far too deep a blood red; barely distinguishable from the color of shadows that was all too familiar to Kakashi.

"_Uchiha…?"_

He turned to follow the other with his eyes and reached into his jacket pocket to quickly take out his gun, but suddenly a strong fist slammed into the side of his head, connecting with his temple. Pain exploded from the center of impact and all he heard were the words: "Sorry about that, Uncle Obito… and your Hatake friend, but I just so happen to have heard Little Sister's name…

"…And, correct me if I'm wrong, but I've also been hearing that she's currently living as a lesbian?"

The last _thing_ he saw as he made impact with the soft grass below was a mangled photograph of a young woman smelling tea.

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Naruto looked down at the meal apprehensively. "I-I-I-I… I hope you like this…" she stuttered, looking fearfully at the frightening concoction she had just created in replacement of their burnt dinner.

Sasuke stared at it wearily, "… Wha—" she tried, "What _is_ it?" She gasped.

It moved.

"…I was trying to make the… Swedish shard…?"

"_Swiss_ shard," The brunette corrected, "And I don't think it's supposed to have that tentacle in it."

"Uh," Naruto looked down at it, "That's actually supposed to be from that rice noodle package that you had on the left shelf in your fridge," she pointed out matter-of-factly. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

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Sakura wiped the sweat from her brow with the back of her hand, and looked through her envelope with a frown, "I seem to have misplaced one of the Yuri scans…" she muttered.

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**I wanted to play around with some Yuri hints in here… along with some slight fake-out Het. I think it worked well enough.**

**But I think that this time I won't go around on the Ino X Sakura train. Maybe. I don't know— it's all up in the air right now.**

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**Also, Damn you All who guessed that it was Itachi this time. Damn You.**

**...You were right.**

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**Sohei NICHA**


	9. Chapter 9: Bug Us

**Femme**

**Sohei NICHA**

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**Rate: T**

**Genre: Humor/Drama**

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**Notes:** "Bug Us…" Alright... I lied. I actually can update now because I managed to get onto a computer... Well, here's your chapter! I'll be sure to get into more of Naruto's mission as soon as possible! So, the continuation of the story is sure to be exciting and funny, and angsty, and such!

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**. F . E . M . M . E. Chapter 9**

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She moaned, feeling a strong arm suddenly pull her closer, "I know that I said that you can sleep here if you're lonely, but I also said that you have to keep to your own side, Idiot." Sasuke felt the other nuzzle into the nape of her neck and sighed, relaxing slightly. Something told her that she really shouldn't be so relaxed around the blonde (who she had only known for a week or so), but the girl was…

"But if I stay on one side, then we have a huge gap in between us," Naruto mumbled in a needy tone. She scrunched up her nose, "… I hate it."

…Something about this… "relationship" was going a bit _too_ fast for her…

The brunette looked over her shoulder and then saw the other's half-lidded, blue eyes. She grumbled a little, "I'm older," she said weakly, "You should listen to me."

Naruto grinned tiredly, "I'll make you happy," she promised.

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A growl crept its way past Sasuke's lips as she glared at the pink wad of rubbery _shit_ she just so happened to notice on the corner of her wardrobe.

Her eye began to twitch.

Ever since last week the blonde had been chewing gum excessively and sticking the mushy chunks onto random places— some out of sight and some in perfect view, as if the blonde was trying to taunt her.

Sasuke didn't know _what_ to think.

Was it some sort of subconscious dominance thing?

Was Naruto territorial?

God damn it— this was _her_ home!

"_Naruto_!" she snapped, storming out of her room and into the living room.

The blonde looked at her innocently. "Yeeeeeees, Sassy?" she fluttered her eyelashes cutely, "What's wrong?"

Sasuke bristled. "You _know_ 'what'," she ground out. "What did I tell you about your gum and its proper place in the garbage?"

Naruto pursed her lips and tapped at them, "Ah…" she murmured, "Y'know… I actually _do_ think I remember… No," she shook her head and then grinned, "I don't think I do—"

"You spit it out into a wrapper and throw it into the trash can, Idiot!" Sasuke groaned, "You _don't_ stick it around on my furniture or my walls or anywhere _else_ you stick gum for that matter, Dumbass!"

They looked at each other heatedly, defiant blue eyes against annoyed, dark eyes.

Naruto leaned back, "Alright, alright, Sassy," she chuckled in defeat, "I guess you want me to clean it all up, right?"

"Damn straight I do."

She got up from the couch and then stretched, "Ah, wait," the blonde grunted, arms above her head, "You mind telling me where I left them?" she asked.

"_Look_," Sasuke spat.

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_7:47:56 A.M. _Five days ago…

_A lone man woke up in the middle of a graveyard. His eyebrows furrowed and he let out a pained groan, head feeling as if it were about to split._

_It was much like a hangover._

"_Shit," he thought to himself, "What the Hell happened last night...?"_

_His eyes widened in remembrance of what happened the previous night, but as garish light flooded his vision, he cringed._

_He looked to the grave with narrowed eyes— not because he loathed it, but simply because he couldn't bear to see everything so bright in the morning light. The flowers were still there, but next to the bouquet was an odd, checkered, purple, bell-like flower._

"_Kakashi?"_

_The man slowly turned to the voice, "Kiba, wow…" he groaned, bringing his hand up to his head, touching at the throbbing area gently, "It's great to see you, actually…"_

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The blonde smiled to herself and stepped atop the couch armrest.

This was getting easier.

_Definitely_.

She'd admit that returning to Sasuke's house and finding a small, hidden camera last Friday night had made her alarmed. However, the result was a chance to investigate through the Uchiha's house with an excuse.

It was tedious work and her jaw now hurt from chewing all that gum for a week, but sticking the pink pieces into the far corners of the house gave her that excuse to look around for any unwanted bugs.

Naruto pulled out a small spatula and then started shucking away at the blob of pink on the top corner of the room. She heard a disbelieving noise.

"_There_ too?"

She scrunched up her face and squealed jokingly, "Eek! Don't look at my butt!" The blonde scraped one last time and felt the gum fall into the palm of her hand, she then looked at the tiny electronic, wondering how she had managed to miss it on her first day.

A frown marred her face.

She really didn't want to chew any more gum, so, maybe it was time for a new obnoxious habit?

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Kiba looked over the hundred-paper stack and felt his gut swirl, "This is all of what you typed?" he gaped. "Of the report? On the square? For the past six days?"

Shino nodded, "What do I want you to do with it?" the man asked, "Of course I want you to read it… All," he added plainly.

Dark eyes were glued on the paper monster, "…Couldn't you be more… _concise_?"

Shino shook his head, "Me? Concise?" he said blandly, "I'm merely detailed, Inuzuka." He slammed a hand down on the stack of papers, "So detailed that the statement is this big. Every detail described as if each action were being seen through a bug's point of view…"

"…A bug's point of view?" the other tried to confirm.

"Every sensation," the man said, "every texture seen, every scent smelled, every vibration— every wave heard… all as if from a bug's point of view…"

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"_Just this morning at six A.M. another body has been found…"  
_

Naruto's eyes narrowed and she scooted herself out from underneath the coffee table to look up at the television. "Turn it up," she murmured absent-mindedly, trying to hear more on the story.

Sasuke's eyebrows rose, but she complied nonetheless, intrigued by this sudden change in her charge.

"_There were multiple lacerations on the body, but all of them were shallow; thus leading the police to believe that this was not the reason that she died…"_

"_Another?"_ Naruto wondered, rising to her elbows.

"_The victim was a fighter though; the police said that she had seemed to have put up quite a bit of a fight. However, they concluded that the killing blow was due to the puncture wound at the top of her head…"_

Sasuke grimaced, "Does this entertain you?" she asked.

The thoughtful, yet disgusted frown on the blonde's face was enough of an answer for her.

"I mean—"

"I just want to know what's going on," Naruto said suddenly, "So that I can protect you."

Sasuke blinked.

"Because I want to keep you safe."

She felt a blush make its way to her face. The perceived sincerity was almost unbearable. "Ah— stupid…" she muttered, rising from her seat on the couch, "I don't need you— I can take care of myself…!"

The blonde frowned and then looked up at her, "But that's probably what they all said!" she whined, "I won't let you be the next one!"

Sasuke slapped her lightly over the head, "As I said already, Idiot, I can take care of myself… And stop pretending to be a hero…" she felt Naruto tug at her long skirt, "Heroes don't exist." She felt a harsh slap on her thigh and bit back a strangled yelp; she looked furiously down at the other.

"Says _you_," Naruto growled, "But I promise you: I'm going to keep you safe; now that I promised, I have to see it through to the end!" she pouted, "There's nothing you can do about it!"

The brunette rolled her eyes at the sudden change of mood from sincere to joking…

Or at least… Sasuke _thought_ that Naruto was joking…

Right?

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_10:54:59 A.M. — Approximate four days ago…_

"_Alright, so, you're _sure_ you didn't just have a hangover?"_

"_I already told you: I was sober the whole time!" Kakashi growled, holding a new pack of crushed ice to the side of his head. It still ached and pulsed in his misery, "I was visiting my friend's grave!"_

_Sakura cupped his chin in her hand and then turned his face every which way so that she could look into both of his eyes: the red one first and then the black one. She then whipped out a tiny flashlight from the pocket of her jeans and clicked it on, shining it into each of his eyes, "Hm…" she frowned, "You may need to get checked for concussion…"_

"_Ugh…" the man groaned, squeezing his eyes shut, "Why did you do that? That won't do anything for a concussion…"_

_She smirked, "I know. But that was for abandoning me yesterday."_

"_Now my eyes hurt too."_

_The pink haired woman smiled, "Then I'm sorry…" she put the flashlight away, "Kind of."_

_His eyebrows furrowed._

"_Now I need to take you to Shizune, Kakashi," she sighed, "Don't worry. I'll take care of you now..."_

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Naruto stepped out of the door with a huff. She wiped at her brow and then straightened out her shirt, "Oh, God…" she muttered, "This stupid shirt keeps riding up. "How the Hell does she wear it?

"… Then again, she has smaller boobs."

"Give me back my shirt, Naruto!"

The blonde jumped and sprinted away from the condo and its owner, "YOU CAN'T CATCH ME!" She laughed, lifting up the collar to inhale the scent of tomatoes, tea, and Sasuke herself. She moaned quietly but then regained character, "YOU SMELL LIKE THAT WACKY FRUIT YOU LIKE SO MUCH!" the girl teased.

Sasuke seemed to have had shrunk into the shadows due to the comment, which caused the rambunctious blonde to laugh even louder.

"I'LL BE BACK, SASSY!"

The brunette groaned and then shut the door, distractedly placing a hand on her stomach and then ghosting her thin, pale fingers over her cheek. She looked up at the ceiling and then slowly closed her eyes.

"'I'll be back'…"

"That's what _he_ said too…"

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"Kakashi, did you hear on the news?" Naruto spoke hurriedly on her cell phone, "He's started up again." She turned a corner and then bit her nail, "The tomoes, the struggle marks— he doesn't seem to touch them, but instead he wears them down so that he can kill them..."

"…"

"Kakashi?"

"… I'm here," the man grunted, "You done talking, Naruto?"

Naruto stepped into the park, "Yeah, why?"

The man cleared his throat and groaned, "I need you to get over to Sakura's place soon, alright?"

"Why—?"

"'Cause I can't explain it over the phone." With that, he hung up abruptly, leaving the blonde to just listen to the dial tone in uncharacteristic silence.

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The pink haired woman looked at the condominium, biting at the inside of her cheek. "Neh, the Hell is so good about this girl?" she asked the pale, dark-haired man beside her. "She have huge tits or something?" The woman blew on her nails and then rubbed them absent-mindedly on her coffee-colored pants. "Is she the best fuck around? I mean, need a fuck, but I don't know about doin' it with girls."

The golden-eyed man smirked, "Tayuya, as always, you are a rude little girl despite being on television all the time… Shouldn't you be more articulate since you're the anchorwoman?" Then, in his head, he added, "_But I wish I had sex with her… and have."_

She scoffed, "Fuck you, Orochimaru."

"Language, young lady," he stepped forward and started to ascend the stairs that led up to a certain brunette's home. "No one told you to follow me, but since you're here, I need you to make a good impression on Miss. Uchiha."

Tayuya huffed and then followed him up the stairs, complaining and swearing the whole time.

"Fucking man thinks he can control me? _Pah!_"

They reached the door and then Orochimaru smirked at the doorbell, reaching out…

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**And thus, we introduce OROCHIMARU. (lol).**

**Sohei NICHA**


	10. Filler: Legendtize Us

**Femme**

**Sohei NICHA**

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**Rate: T**

**Genre: Action-Adventure/Drama/Humor**

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**Notes:** This part/chapter is what one would call an "_Omake_", but since I'm not Japanese, I figure that it'd be a bit dumb for me to use that term. It's a break (Filler, Extra, etc…) in the actual storyline so that I can add something that _will_ be a bit of background info or maybe just something good to look back on/refer to later (or a parallel, if you want it to be sortta like that later).

Also, as far as I know (I have not done any researching, but Imagining), there is not a legend about Uchihas or Sharingan. I just (loosely) based it on Kyuubi and Sharingan's supposed relationship from the manga by Kishimoto (*Cough* and the Zabuza-Haku Arc *Cough*).

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This scene happens during the week that I failed to write about. Also, it is mostly Drama.

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She had spaced out…

Her thoughts were all on… _her_.

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Naruto looked at the other, chin in the palm of her hand, "Sasuke," she asked, gaining the attention of the other woman, "I was just wondering… are you part of _the_ Uchiha Family?"

A scoff. "My last name is Uchiha."

The blonde shook her head, "I mean… the one in the ancient legends."

Sasuke paused. She turned off the television and sat down on the couch beside the other.

"The samurai family with the technique called 'Sharingan'..." Naruto smiled slightly, "The one that could supposedly control the nine-tailed fox named 'Kyuubi'—"

The brunette laughed a hollow laugh, "That's stupid..." she threw her head back onto the couch back, "Samurai?" the woman spat, "After World War II there _were_ no more Samurai. 'Sharingan'?" she shook her head, "There's no such thing as a technique that can see through an opponent's every move..."

"Kyuubi?" Naruto whispered, hand drooping slowly to the table.

Sasuke's eyes softened, "A nine-tailed fox doesn't exist."

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The blonde looked at the ratty stuffed animal in her hands— a little orange fox with eight extra tails— she sighed. Naruto was on her own, wandering the streets of Konoha… _alone_; actually doing what she was supposed to do: observe the damn town and the people populating it.

She stuffed the stuffed animal into her frog-shaped purse, "Gah! There _is_ such thing as a nine-tailed fox!" she declared loudly, causing her to earn some surprised glances from the villagers. The girl then stomped down the street, muttering to herself and occasionally looking around.

She saw Shino sitting at a café table, typing on his laptop and probably looking at the area through his many hidden cameras in the area. He looked up and gave her a curt nod; she grinned in reply, waving quickly. Naruto then skipped over to him, "Hey, Shino," she chirped, dragging a chair to sit next to him.

"…"

"I know, isn't it a great day?"

"…"

"No, I don't like cockroaches, I'm sorry."

"…"

She scratched at the back of her head and chuckled nervously, "Hey, uh… can I ask you a question?"

Shino looked up from his laptop, not looking anywhere else but at her.

Naruto smiled, "I want to make Sasuke know that nine-tailed foxes really exist…"

The man beside her cocked his head a bit to the side. "But, isn't it obvious that nine-tailed foxes don—" he caught himself, "Uh— er…"

The girl glared, "They _what_?"

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Satisfied with herself and the answer she had received from her coworker, the blonde girl went on her way, leaving the silent man behind her.

Thus, she made her way to the flower shop a few blocks down.

However…

Something caught her eye.

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Sasuke walked up the steps to the library, a large tote bag slung over her shoulder and a red and white, fan-shaped hairpin holding a few locks of her hair back. Her fingers found their way up to the hairclip and she bit back a smile that was creeping up onto her face.

"Ah? Sasuke-_chan_ is that you? _Ohayo_! Sasuke-_chan_ is so _Kwaii_!"

The brunette cringed. She knew of only one person who would try so hard and fail at being Japanese, raping the language and trying to adopt the culture— taking a Japanese name just for the sake of seeming more Japanese…

"Karin…"

A young woman with dyed red hair cut into choppy lengths on one side sprinted toward her; she wore some sort of cosplay outfit: a lavender kimono-esque shirt and short spandex shorts; thigh high boots and four-inch, peep-toe heels. Sasuke's feet ached when she looked at those shoes…

"_Ano_, Sasuke-_chan_, have you listened to the new single by—"

"No." She moved to the side so that she could get to the reference and history section, "Karin, I already told you that even though I'm Japanese, it doesn't mean I care about…" she frowned, feeling as if her next few words were inappropriate since Japan had recently been hit by a tsunami, killing a few people who she had once known when she had visited the small island nation.

The red-head's face dropped, "_Gomen nasai_… It's really good," she murmured.

Sasuke nodded, "I'll take your word for it." She found the book she had seen on the internet and then opened it.

"_Yosh_! Japanese mythology! _Yatta_!" Karin clapped her hands together, dropped them, and then bowed deeply.

The brunette walked past her and then sat at a table, opening the three inch book to the index. She found the page and then began to read, redhead breathing over her shoulder…

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"_There was once a samurai named Uchiha. He was strong and shrewd. He would travel around the mountains, forests, and the rivers, fighting any being his master told him to. However, this samurai had one secret… 'He' was a woman. The reason her Lord had always been sent her out was because her master was worried that the other samurai would find out her secret. Thus, she dressed herself in her Lord's armor; covered her beautiful, pale face with a mask; and hardened her eyes into those befitting an experienced warrior rather than those of a woman._

_One morning at dusk, she woke up by the river near a forest. Beside her was a beautiful young woman in a snow-white and blood-red kimono. The woman smiled at Uchiha and then bowed her head slightly with a giggle._

_Uchiha felt her mouth go dry. This woman was beautiful, alone, and more than likely a Kitsune._

'_Uchiha,' the woman lightly traced the outline of Uchiha's cloth-covered jaw with her fingertips, 'You try to hide it, but I can tell that you are a very strong woman.'_

_Uchiha grabbed the woman's wrist and cursed at her, releasing the word 'fox'._

_The woman nodded, 'True, Uchiha.' The woman admitted, 'I am a Kitsune.' She laughed a bit, and Uchiha could see that the action wasn't malicious in any way._

_Suddenly, the two heard barking and men's voices off in the distance; the fox began to tremble. She turned her eyes to the samurai pleadingly. Uchiha's eyes hardened. She knew what the other was silently asking. 'Why should I help you?' she inquired, hold still on the Kitsune's wrist._

_She looked into her eyes, 'If proof is what you crave, then I have none.' The woman then looked to the ground._

_Arriving, the men stepped closer and began to brandish their swords, ready to strike at the Kitsune, already knowing who she was: an Enchantress whose mischievousness and trickery had managed to give the men bad fortune and impotency._

_Impotency was bad._

_They neared the two women, and before the men reached her, Uchiha stepped forward and drew her blade, disarming the men easily._

'_Step away from that woman!' the men shouted at her. However, Uchiha stood her ground, silent before speaking in the harshest tone she could muster._

'_What do you want from my wife?'_

_She sounded like a man._

_The attacking men stopped; the Kitsune looked up from the ground, turning to the Uchiha in shock with an apparent blush upon her cheeks._

'_Stay away from her or I'll kill you," Uchiha growled, 'All.'_

_A dark aura seemed to surround the samurai and sent the men scrambling away in fear._

_The Kitsune was still watching her when Uchiha turned away, pulling down her mask, and kneeling down to drink from the river. Kitsune saw the woman's pale features that befit a Snow Fairy; she felt her heart beat a bit faster at the beauty and then shut her eyes in submission._

_Once Uchiha had finished with her drink, she looked at the Kitsune with her dark eyes and covered her face again, 'Next time stay out of trouble.' Then she walked away, not ever expecting to see that Kitsune ever again."_

_._

"_Months passed, and soon, Uchiha's Lord called her back from her travels to his side._

_There was war between families._

_He called her back because she was one of his best— no._

_She _was_ his best warrior._

_So, there Uchiha was, back on the battlefield where she belonged, swinging her sword around, slicing through her opponents without hesitation. She had the intention of only following her Lord's single command: 'Win this war'._

_However, the many she had fought was beginning to tire her— no. A true samurai was _never_ tired…_

_But, she collapsed to her knees nonetheless._

_It was at that moment when she heard a long, throbbing hum of energy._

_The samurai turned around to look at the sound, and there, she saw a white and red figure gracefully make its way to her through the battling men._

_A goddess…_

_A fairy…_

_The Kitsune…?_

_The figure finally reached Uchiha. She bent down to her level; Uchiha relaxed slightly and closed her eyes. The Kitsune gently touched her eyelids, 'Uchiha,' she murmured, 'My name is Kyuubi… I am forever grateful to you for saving me…' she pressed her lips to Uchiha's forehead. 'And so, I give you my being…'_

'_Didn't I tell you to stay out of trouble?' Uchiha trembled as she felt a pressure on her eyelids, as if something were being forced into her eyes._

_A chuckle, 'I give you all my power…'_

_Strength filled her, and then she felt soft lips press against her own._

'_And… if you would accept it, my devotion.'_

_Uchiha slowly opened her eyes and revealed a bright blood-red color with three spinning tomoe: the Sharingan. She pressed forward again and kissed the Kitsune. Kyuubi playfully nipped at the cloth covering Uchiha's bottom lip and then quickly turned around, her body encasing in a red aura before she collapsed into a fox form. Uchiha growled and then stood up, clutching her sword, 'Then show me you love me and help me bring down each enemy of mine.'_

_The Kitsune eagerly bound forward and clamped down on a man's throat, ripping away the bone in his neck, each of her nine tails waving wildly in the air as she moved to her next opponent. Uchiha went in her own direction and soon the field was dyed with the blood of her foes._

_But, her opponents were strong._

_Soon, there was only her and Kyuubi, fighting against ten incredibly powerful enemies._

_Uchiha had difficulty now, even with the Kitsune's power flowing through her and her new-found sight, these men were dangerous. She could see each and every move the man before her was about to make, but her body screamed and protested against every action she made to move._

_She then heard a pained yelp and then turned around, gaining a score to her stomach in her distraction. The samurai cried out, and then hissed, adrenaline rushing through her body as she sliced his hand off in a quick motion and rushed against her pain to defeat the nine men surrounding her Kitsune._

_Kyuubi was on the ground, now back in her woman form; she struggled to get back up and fight them, but after giving Uchiha so much of her power, she was left weaker than she normally would be. Her powers would return, but only after a few more moments— these men would descend upon her in less than that time._

_Just then, a fierce battle cry split the air and blood rained down upon her._

_She looked up, and there was Uchiha, the tip of a sword protruding from her back. The Uchiha coughed as the warrior retracted his blade; she fell backward into Kyuubi's arms._

_Kyuubi looked at her with wide eyes, 'Why…?' she asked quietly, gently pulling down the cloth mask that covered her Master's face._

_Uchiha's face was paling. Her eyes were glazing over. 'I… don't know…' she murmured, 'My body… just moved on its own…' She frowned, 'I may die, but, don't you dare…'_

_As her voice trailed off, her eyelids dropped shut._

_The Kitsune was still, she continued to watch her unmoving Master silently and even the air seemed to have stilled. Around the two, the men started to stir uncomfortably, as if sensing what would happen next._

_Time was up._

_Kyuubi felt herself overflow with power and then she shouted, dropping her Master's body and utterly destroying the men._

_She turned back to where Uchiha should have been and then tore away the armor that covered the samurai's wound. She gently pulled apart Uchiha's robes and then saw a large scar instead of a gaping wound._

_Kyuubi gasped._

_She looked at the pale face and then smiled, a tear escaping from her eye, 'Uchiha…' A pale hand brushed the tear away._

'_Kyuubi.'_

_The power that the Kitsune had bestowed upon Uchiha had saved her, healing and restoring her before she had the chance to die. After that day, the war ended. Uchiha had pulled away from her Lord and traveled the mountains and the forests once more, battling others and defeating them with ease. She no longer felt the need to fear her gender or hide who she really was: a woman, because this time, she had a companion, one that watched her back and just as easily defeated those around her…_

_A companion that knew her innermost thoughts and knew her warmth: the Kyuubi no Kitsune, forever devoted to her Master: Uchiha."_

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Sasuke looked up from the book, finished with the story.

Karin grinned and wiped away some tears, "That was awesome, Sasuke-_chan_! The way Uchiha-_san_ just stood up to all those people and killed all those bastards off despite being a (kick-ass) Lady! The way she fell in love with the _Kyuubi_ _no_ _Kitsune_! The way _Kyuubi_ was so devoted that she—"

The brunette shook her head and closed the book, ignoring the other. "It's _just_ like Japanese mythology to promote lesbianism," she muttered, walking away.

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Naruto grinned, displaying her new outfit. Orange ears were attached to her head with a headband and tails were fastened to the back of her skirt with a thick, orange and red belt. She posed in front of the gaping Uchiha, "There! Nine-tailed foxes do exist!" she said triumphantly.

Sasuke's eyes were wide and then she tensed, leaning away from the blonde.

Naruto went on with her babbling, "I thought about you when I asked Sakura to fix this for me— there was only one tail on this when I got it from the shop, but Sakura said…"

The brunette watched her wearily as the other made a heart-shape in the air with her index fingers.

"… And then I decided that I'll be your Kyuubi." She blushed deeply then, "Y-you complete me…" she mumbled. "This… sounded less perverted in my head," she assured. The blonde then noticed how the Uchiha was slowly backing away from her, "What's wrong, Sasuke?"

"…" Sasuke froze when Naruto addressed her directly, "… You're a furry."

Naruto gaped. "W-wait, Sasuke!"

The brunette quickly opened the door, "Such a furry…" she mumbled. She flinched when she felt a warm hand wrap around her wrist; she turned around.

"Stay with me," Naruto whispered, wrapping the other in her arms and nuzzling her face into the crook of Sasuke's neck. She bit her lip and resisted the urge to nip and lick at the pale neck before her, so they just stood there, silent for a moment, hearts beating together.

"…Furry."

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**Not that I hate Karin or anything, but I just needed to find somebody to be an "Otaku". And, since Karin just so happens to be pretty into Sasuke (or, at least… _was_), then, why not her?**

**ALSO— JESUS CHRIST— this was like writing Multi-Chapter _and_ a Oneshot! I had some trouble making up the "Legend". THUS, the crapped out Legend-Ending!**

**:D**

…

**Good Luck, Japan! (Just sayin'. I really can't figure out what else I can do for you guys besides what's already being done)**

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**Anyways, this Extra is even more Les-yay rampant than the actual story— jomygod, I should really start amp-ing the actual story-line up!**

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**Sohei NICHA**


	11. Chapter 10: Help Us

**Femme**

**Sohei NICHA**

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**Rate: T**

**Genre: Humor/Drama**

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**Notes:** "Help Us…"

_Obviously_ I wanted a few more reviews, but, whatever. It's not you guys' fault. I needed to work on a paper for my Senior Transition Project and last week was the best time to skip out on you avid readers.

It was a pain in the ass but I still love you guys.

Really.

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**. F . E . M . M . E. Chapter 10**

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_Smash_!

Itachi smirked and then looked over at the other, "Well?" he asked expectantly, "Aren't you going to warmly and enthusiastically welcome me?"

The blue-skinned man tilted his head and then pursed his lips in restrained annoyance. "You're crazy," he sighed. "Well, anyways, I didn't expect you to get out so quickly. What did you do? Seduce the director?" he bent down to get a dustpan from under his sink with a heavy sigh.

There was a mirthful gleam in the man's dark eyes, "I'm not fluent in the art of seduction. There are other people far better at it than I, Kisame." He hopped in through the kitchen window and then squatted on the counter, placing his hands firmly on Kisame's broad shoulders to help steady himself. "Now, let me stay here." Glass crunched beneath his feet as he shifted on the counter, scratching and marring the granite in the process.

A moment of silence passed between them before the blue-tinted man sighed again and moved away, "I'm going to have to take care of you until you snap again, aren't I?"

Itachi pointed at him, "And you're going to have to like it," he said innocently. He hopped down from the granite and then kicked the broken glass shards around, "But anyways, there's no time for chit-chat!" he waved his hands dismissively.

Kisame felt the other brush past him, "Well, then… please _enlighten_ me."

Dark eyes narrowed as their owner nodded gravely, "There's this man who's been after my little sister for the longest time… I'm worried about her…"

"_Urgent!"_ said the reporter on the television. Both men turned to the electronic device as the reporter looked at them fearfully, _"Just recently, there has been a breakout from the Root Institute—_"

Itachi rolled his eyes, "Asylum," he corrected, "_Asylum_…"

"_Itachi Uchiha has escaped from the Grade-A Institute! He is most definitely a threat!_"

Kisame's jaw dropped. "I thought they _released_ you!"

The man beside him looked at him with a serious expression and shrugged, "I _had_ to! She's in _danger_!"

"_I repeat— he is a _threat_."_ The reporter paused and looked around himself at the big, white, guarded, and fenced building behind him. "_Itachi Uchiha,"_ a picture of said man popped onto the screen with all sorts of identification information, "_Is not mentally stable… just over ten years ago he murdered all of his family but his younger sister, Sasuke Uchiha who currently lives in Konoha…"_

Itachi groaned and slapped a hand over his eyes, "Don't drag her into this, you Fool," he slid his hand down his face, "That's it—" he snarled, "This guy's next on my list…!"

"_If you see Itachi Uchiha, then _immediately _contact the authorities!"_

Kisame turned to his friend, "What the Hell?" he snarled, "You _know_ I've got black market fish and some hallus here! You trying to get me arrested?"

Itachi quirked an eyebrow, "Who in our group _doesn't_ have some drugs in their house?" he asked rhetorically, "Seriously."

With a shake of the head, Kisame went on, "Anyways… You had something important to tell me."

"Oh yeah," Itachi perked up, "But anyways, where are those drugs?"

His friend glared at how easily Itachi's priorities seemed to change at the mention of drugs.

The dark-haired man bit his bottom lip, "Sasuke's in danger because of that weirdo pedophile Orochimaru…" he scrunched up his nose, "He, like, wants her body or something…"

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Sasuke heard the doorbell ring and then she huffed, ready to smack the blonde Idiot for forgetting her keys or something.

She looked into the mirror quickly and then averted her eyes. She then got out of the bathroom, brushing her hands down her long, straight hair for a moment; remembering that this was how her mother looked like in the picture by her bed. A pale, kind, delicate woman with long, black hair; dark, midnight-blue eyes; deep, flesh-colored lips— an altogether fairy-tale Snow White kind of woman— and Sasuke had to look just like her.

Her eyes narrowed.

She may have looked like her mother, but emotionally, she was possibly just as retarded as her father— who she had both detested yet yearned to impress.

The doorbell rang again and she frowned, noticing how she had somehow gotten to the front door in her daze. She unlocked the bolt and grasped the doorknob, ready to suddenly mangle her current charge's whiskered cheeks beyond recognition, "Naru…to…?"

The man at the door leaned against the frame and just stared at her, drinking up her figure lecherously as if she were naked and prone on a bed with a come-fuck-me look, instead of standing, glowering, and in a long skirt and tank-top; beside him stood the anchorwoman from the news every night at six.

Dark eyes narrowed and she made to close the door but the man slipped past her into the condo, grabbing her by the waist and taking her inside of her home, which now started to feel unsafe. "Let me go!" she hissed.

He chuckled and then the pink-haired anchorwoman stepped inside, looking scathingly at the area. "That's her?" she asked, "Her tits aren't big at _all_."

Sasuke's jaw dropped and then she closed it because it was unbecoming of an Uchiha. She turned to the man who was still holding onto her— too close for comfort, if she may add. "What are you _doing_ here, Orochimaru?"

He cupped the back of her head and looked directly into her eyes with his goldenrod gaze, "Let's make some babies."

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"Hey, listen, I can't talk for long. What I'm saying is serious and I don't want to even talk right now… and Shizune said that I have a concussion," Kakashi closed his eyes, "And I'm not supposed to be near bright things, so put on a hat or something," he pulled on a blonde pigtail teasingly.

Naruto perked, biting her lips to keep quiet like the man told her to— although she was going to get him back at some point for making her be quiet—

She was _not_ a quiet person.

"Itachi Uchiha has escaped prison."

There was a silence.

"…" Kakashi cleared his throat, "Didn't you hear me? I _said_—"

"Yeah, I _know_ what you said," she huffed, smile dropping from her face, "So? So what?" Naruto tugged on the hem of the shirt she was wearing, thinking about how she was stretching out the chest. The knit of the cloth was widening and made the pale blue distort and shine in an odd fashion; she ran her hands over it. "Uchiha…" she murmured, "Itachi and Sasuke… they look a like," she tried to grin, "You know… she calls his name out in her sleep sometimes…"

He watched her expression shift again.

Her eyes seemed to glisten with something he had oh so recently read about in his bright orange books… particularly in _Combat_, "I get angry when I hear it… his name comes up a lot." The girl's fists clenched and then laxed. "I really think that…" Naruto smiled, "I want to be with her…

"Somebody so alone…

"Somebody who needs me…"

Her eyes widened and then she slowly crumpled to the ground, "Somebody that… _I_ need too…" she covered her face, "Somebody I'd never let go…"

"Naruto—"

"I _know_ that he hurt her, but I'm jealous!" she shouted into her hands, "I know it's childish, but I want her to think about _me_ all the time— _Damn_ _it_!"

Kakashi held his head, wanting to run away from his companion's loud voice, but knowing that he wanted and _had_ to be there for her.

"I might be an Idiot, but I want to be the one that when I leave her, she'll feel alone." She grit her teeth and shook her head, "No— I don't want to leave her— I don't want her with anyone else— it hurts too much!" Her blue eyes clenched shut and then she thought about the nights that had passed since the first day she had ever walked into the Uchiha's house. She remembered just last night; how everything seemed to hurt even more…

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_Naruto heard a whimpered name so soft and so brief that she thought she had imagined it. She opened her eyes and looked over at the other carefully as the body squirmed._

"_Sasuke?" she whispered hoarsely._

_The body tense and Naruto shifted onto her side in order to reach out and gently touch the trembling, pale shoulder with the tips of her fingers. As she watched the other woman she felt as if the vision of a moon-soaked Sasuke had burned into her memory— the bright white of her skin was like lighted magnesium— almost ethereal. She was like a modern version of Snow White or Sleeping Beauty, but Naruto knew that if she dared say anything like that aloud then Sasuke would probably kick her out of the condo._

_The blonde began to stroke down from the shoulder, down the upper arm, and then she went back up to the top once she reached a thin wrist. Again, she repeated the cycle, slowly feeling the muscles beneath the pads of her fingers relax into her touch._

_Then, there was that repeated, muttered name that made her draw her hand back as if she had intruded upon something highly personal._

_That one name: "Itachi…"_

.

The man turned to her, looking at her and studying the expression on her face. "You may not be the one," he said simply. They then sat quietly for a moment, lost in thought before Kakashi cleared his throat, "Either way, you can't forget that you're there to get _him._ You can protect her in the meantime, Naruto, but don't forget your top priority."

She nodded, "I know, but even after we catch him, I'm staying."

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Sasuke had no idea how she had managed to keep the man's third leg in his pants, but she sure as Hell wasn't complaining. With some quick thinking she had convinced him to go outside and wander the streets with her. The pink haired anchorwoman had gotten bored after she figured that the two wouldn't be having sex any time soon and left, muttering something about having to go have sex with a coworker.

So, now Sasuke was stuck with somebody even _more_ annoying than Naruto.

How was that even possible?

_Naruto with her blonde hair and blue eyes— Naruto with her hands touching me and my stuff—! Naruto with that annoying voice…_

Her eyebrows furrowed and she sighed.

_Naruto and that orange jacket that she always wears…_

She felt a cold hand try to slither around her waist and then twisted around with an arctic glare upon her face, ramming her hand into the man's stomach forcefully. He bent over, slightly winded.

"Don't touch me," she said callously, "I'm…" the woman thought for a moment, "…taken."

A moment of silence passed between the two before Orochimaru smirked and began to chuckle.

"Taken?" he scoffed, "I don't believe it."

A drop of sweat was forming at the side of Sasuke's face as she began to internally panic. _Crap, who the Hell am I going to say that I'm with? _The brunette looked around, "I'm going to go into the flower shop," she said curtly, "Don't even bother following me. You're an eyesore."

She knew he would follow her anyways, but she said it nonetheless.

The woman looked both ways before quickly jay-walking over to the other side of the street and practically flinging herself into the flower shop. There, Ino spotted her.

"Hey, Sasuke!" she smiled, "Are you looking for Naruto? She's in the back!" the blonde then went back to talking to the pink-haired woman at her side, blue gaze watching the whole shop carefully.

Sasuke nodded curtly and then hastily went down the hallway.

The door opened again and Ino smiled, "Welcome. You look lost," she said to the tall, dark-haired man. "If you need help, please, just feel free to ask."

He smiled at her, "Have you seen a cute little brunette dash in here?" the man asked, sending a chill down her spine.

Ino bared her teeth in her smile, "Uh…" she said stiffly, "I have some roses along that wall over there…"

The man's golden eyes bore into her for a moment before he glared and then turned to the presented wall, figuring that force just wouldn't do with all of the witnesses around…

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The door slammed open and a pained yelp was heard from the other side.

Sasuke pushed it open even further and then peeked at the other side where Naruto was on the floor, holding a throbbing breast.

The blonde looked up with a glare, "That hurt, you Bitch!" she snarled breathlessly.

Sasuke ignored the comment and then slipped into the room, shutting the door behind her immediately. She wiped away a thin film of sweat on her forehead before situating herself next to Kakashi on the couch. Her eyes were hard and she stayed silent; the air around her was just as moody as she was as she contemplated her situation.

Kakashi broke the silence: "What brings you here?"

Naruto crossed her legs and leaned on the door, "Yeah," she grunted, "What _he_ said." She looked away. Her stomach was tumbling; her chest hurt like Hell, and the only way to keep herself calm was to snap at somebody— mainly the person who did not have a concussion…

She wasn't _that_ mean. She was just…

The blonde looked up at the ceiling. _I'm not used to this…_ she thought to herself, _liking somebody… and a girl…_

"He's after me again."

Naruto's ears perked, "Who?" she snapped unintentionally.

Sasuke sent her a glare, "Don't talk to me like that."

Kakashi raised both his hands defensively, "Hey, girls…"

"Make me!" the blonde rose to her feet and then stalked over to the couch.

Dark eyes bore into the lighter-haired girl. "Why the Hell would I do _that_?" Sasuke smirked. She refused to press back into the couch when Naruto leaned over her, making them overwhelmingly close. Her dark eyebrows drew together as her gazed dropped down slightly to pink lips… _I could…_

_Maybe if we… _Naruto's heart beat faster and then she grunted, looking away, still glaring fiercely, "Who's after you?" She flopped down onto the couch, refusing to look at the brunette when her heart reacted like this. "You better answer straight up."

A pale blush graced Sasuke's cheeks but then the heat quickly left them. "Orochimaru…" she said, keeping her voice steady. "Again," she ended.

Blonde brows furrowed, "Is he bothering you?" she said, still facing away.

"He always does."

"Do you want him to go away?" _Forever?_ Naruto added silently, hand unconsciously going back to rubbing her chest.

Kakashi opened his mouth to speak.

"Yes, I want him to go away." _And die._ Sasuke thought morbidly. "Anyways, I told him I was with someone already and then I… calmly walked into the shop."

The pause made the silver-haired man quirk an eyebrow, but Naruto openly scoffed.

"You totally ran away from him!" she smirked, turning around quickly. Then she gasped, "Oh, this is _too_ good— You need help!"

The brunette bristled, "No, I…"

Blue eyes gleamed. "And you're somehow gonna convince him that you're taken, right, Sassy?"

"…Hn." The dark-haired woman bit her lip, "Well, _Furry_—"

Naruto's eyelids dropped slightly, "Only yours," she tilted her head and leaned closer slightly. "You see, Kakashi has a cuncussy, or something…"

"_Concussion."_

"Whatever." She flushed a bit, "And…"

Sasuke's eye narrowed and she grabbed the blonde's wrist, stomach twisting oddly and heart palpating faster than usual. "I get it, Naruto." She bit her lip, "So stop touching yourself. Get out there and help me."

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**Part of this was going to be filler, but then I decided to just put it in here instead… Be grateful that I'm not Kishi!**

_**Review**_** if you want me to try to be more regular for updates!**

**Sohei NICHA**


	12. Chapter 11: Promise Us

**Femme**

**Sohei NICHA**

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**Rate: T**

**Genre: Humor/Drama**

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**Notes:** Uh— DON'T KILL ME !

"Promise Us…"

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**. F . E . M . M . E. Chapter 11**

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_Sasuke's eye narrowed and she grabbed the blonde's wrist, stomach twisting oddly and heart palpating faster than usual. "I get it, Naruto." She bit her lip, "So stop touching yourself. Get out there and help me."_

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Naruto knew that the other was nervous, and unusually so. She looked down at their joined hands before pulling her hand away gently.

Sasuke jerked back to look at her inquisitively.

Naruto grinned at her jumpiness and then wove their fingers together. "When you love somebody, then you hold their hands like this," she explained. "We're almost at the end of the hallway. If you want to convince him, then we need to look like we like each other, right?"

Dark eyes narrowed slightly, "What do you know about that?" There was a bit of a bite in those words and Naruto flinched at the unidentifiable emotion that threw the words at her.

The blonde looked to the side, "Only what I've read in fan fictions…" she admitted with a slight flush, "Sakura got me hooked a little while back…" _and_ _I haven't really been able to stop…_

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow, "Fanfictions?" she murmured, "I think I've heard about something like that before…" she frowned deeply, pondering as to where she had heard that term before. "Tell me about it?" she asked quietly.

Naruto smirked, "Well, it's your worst nightmare…"

Sasuke's face turned stony, "_Déjà vu…?"_ was the thought that ran through her head.

"… It's never sane."

A dark-colored eye began to twitch slightly.

"…Often has funny stories where two hot dudes hook up…"

_Yes_, she concluded, _I have definitely heard something like this before…_

"And often there is incest." Naruto concluded, bringing their hands up and then kissing the brunette's knuckles, "But anyways… DACK!" She whined when one of her cheeks was pinched roughly and then yanked sharply. Blue eyes looked tearfully up at her blushing assaulter.

"D-don't—" Sasuke stuttered, "Don't do that…!" She let go of the tanned cheek and after a moment, rubbed it lightly with the pad of her thumb. "I don't…" she spoke hesitantly, looking into the other's eyes, "I'm not…"

The blonde smiled a bit, "C'mon," she said, taking the hand from her cheek, "I'm your Kyuubi."

Sasuke looked away, "This again?" she whispered. When the other nodded, she looked back with her eyes, "I don't know what to do with you…" Her eyes then went to the floor.

Naruto pursed her lips, "Haven't you ever dated anyone before?" she asked.

The brunette did not grace the other with a vocal answer, but her blush was more than words could say.

Naruto chuckled, "Well, then, I'll help you out, but you have to promise me something."

Sasuke looked up through her eyelashes, quirking an eyebrow.

"Promise me that you'll let me do what I want."

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**Yeah, I'm freaking sorry that this chapter is only this long… and that it took me this long to write only this long, but you guys really haven't been reviewing me and I'm a little Dick-Weed. I like to know what you guys want even if I don't always do it.**

**Also, I've been trying to figure out what the Hell to do with this story with my Ship-Piloting job- shadowing going on. (I've been doing my Senior Transition Project and haven't had much time to type or think out anything. It's been rough…). I mean, I have a direction I want to go in, but I've hit a block too, so…**

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**Sohei NICHA**


	13. Chapter 12: Challenge Us

**Femme**

**Sohei NICHA**

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**Rate: T**

**Genre: Humor/Drama**

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**Notes:** Dead bodies in this chapter? …Well, it's definitely darker than HUMOR is supposed to be, I guess… (Also not as well-looked over since I tried to make a 2-week deadline.)

"_Challenge Us…"_

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**. F . E . M . M . E. Chapter 12**

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_Early morning: 4:36:07 AM_

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"Please kill me…" _the woman begged, clutching at her reddened and blistering body, "_Just be done with it… Take anything you want from me, I give up. I give up everything, but just please…"

_The man's head tilted to the side._ "Well, then," _he murmured silkily from the other side of the cage door,_ "you're no fun…" _His cruel eyes roamed up and down her form, taking in her suffering: the whiting blisters upon red skin, the knocking knees that threatened to cause their owner to crumble to the floor; the quickly disappearing shine from big, brown eyes…_ "You're so _polite_ too— just _asking_ for me to stop." _He snickered lightly,_ "I want to one day have a girl tenacious enough for me to have days upon days just playing with her before she loses it…"

_The woman whimpered and looked around, her vision seemingly dull. Then, there was a spray of boiling water that shot toward her from behind the steel bars of her cage._

_She screamed as water burned her chest again_, "Stop it!" _she begged,_ "Please! _Please_, oh, stop!" _The woman tugged at her still scalding brasserie and looked down at her bubbling skin with horror, wondering how much longer she was able to take the torture._

_The man shrugged, _"Stop the burning?" _he asked blandly, a small sympathetic expression crossing his face._

_The reply was a shaky nod and a small sigh of relief._ "Please…"

_He looked to the side and then pressed a button, once again releasing a gush of water. This time it was cold— near freezing._

_After an anguished howl, the woman collapsed and heaved,_ "Pl… please-se-se… st-stop…"

_Dark eyebrows furrowed,_ "You don't even have the will to live. Why the Hell do you think I'll do what you want?" _the words were harsh._ "You're nothing more than something I'll squash until I get _her_." _His victim shivered and he threw something in through the bars._

_She looked over at the object and then tears began to run down her reddened cheeks, _"I c-c-c-can't…" _she stuttered, breath heaving,_ "I _can't_…!"

"Entertain me." _The man murmured_, "It's the least you can do…" _with your worthless life…_

_Her brown eyes tried to focus in on the rusty fork and she gave a shuddering heave._ "Wh-what happens if I c-can't?" _she whimpered._ _Her lips trembled and tears began to leak from the corners of her eyes, _"What if I can't k-kill myself…? It… it's just a fork…"

"…" _the man thought for a moment, pursing his lips childishly. His dark eyebrows furrowed slightly, creasing the pale skin on his forehead, but not marring his psychotic beauty in the least._

_Seconds passed._

_Seconds turned into minutes._

_Minutes dripped by like the water drops dripping down from the woman's hair: slower, and slower, and slower…_

_Then, he smiled._

"I'm sure you'll find a way."

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Blue eyes caught her gaze and made her listen intently to the blonde without any contempt or resistance at all; at the moment, it was almost safe to say that her heart beat only to hear the other's voice.

"Promise me that you'll let me do what I want."

Slowly, Sasuke blinked and felt her cheeks heat up. She fingered the hem of the shirt Naruto was wearing— _her_ now-stretched-out and ruined shirt.

"Let me help you in any way I can right now without you asking any questions, and when we get back home, let me do what I want, but no questions…"

"What do you mean by that?" the brunette asked, dark eyes carefully searching the other woman's.

After all, Naruto _was_ a woman now at age eighteen, right?

Sasuke felt the blonde pull her into an embrace and felt warm breath upon her lips.

This was allowed… for them to be this close even though she was years older, right?

"It's just… It… it won't go too far?" the brunette bit her lip and then glared weakly, "I'm supposed to watch over you… I'm… I'm _responsible_ for you…" She looked to the side, reality and practicality edging their way and blocking out her wants, "I won't have you getting into dangerous situations, Idiot. You have to tell me what's going on."

Naruto grinned, "Just don't ask questions. Let me do what I do, alright? I'll be perfectly safe." She felt her stomach churn a bit as she spoke her request and slowly, the curve of her lips straightened.

After all, her job wasn't to be near Sasuke. Her job was to catch a killer in Konoha that targeted dark-haired women. Sasuke merely fit the description, was convenient, and lived in the correct location of where she needed to be: she was just a severely endangered civilian put inside of a mission's plan. Ideally, she shouldn't have been of any significance, but…

Naruto stopped herself from shaking her head in front of the other.

She had known from the start that she would continuously have to go out at night; increasingly even more now that the Serial Killer's victims' bodies had made the news. Inevitably, Sasuke would find out that every blue moon, when Naruto said that she could sleep by herself— that through most of the night the blond wouldn't even be inside of her given bedroom until, when late at night, she would come into the Uchiha's room after another "nightmare". No, Sasuke would find out about her absence one night, or see the blood on her clothes, or see the gun hidden in her jacket or purse or in her underwear drawer— and when she did, there'd be questions that would be asked, and answers that would have to be given…

... And theoretically, non-existent bonds that would have to be broken.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed.

"I mean, not that I dislike being with you all the time…" Naruto reassured, "but I need to go out at weird parts in the night for my… Information-Gathering…" she chuckled, "Y'know, like, when people go out, when they leave the bars, what happens during the night-time— the works," with another easy-going smile, she pulled Sasuke toward the opening of the hallway— to where Orochimaru would see them— and gently turned the pale face to look at her. "And I need you to know that I'm still going to be with you." She felt like begging for this last part to happen.

"_I need you to know that I will always be your Kyuubi and you'll be my Uchiha, Sasuke…"_

There was a moment of apprehensive and contemplative silence.

"So, what does that mean?"

Naruto blinked, "Wha—?"

"'And I need you to know that I'm still going to be with you'. What does that mean?" Sasuke cocked her head slightly to the side, her shoulders tense. She brought her hands up to rest on the arms wrapped around her, "You're confusing me," she whispered. "You shouldn't be confusing me. Because I'm an adult…" the Uchiha turned her face slightly but looked back at her with veiled eyes, "I'm supposed to know what to do… I'm supposed to be smart…"

The blonde inhaled and thought quickly. _"It means that I need to be with you…"_ She grinned and pulled her companion even closer to her with lightly trembling arms, "Let's talk about that later…" Naruto whispered, _"I promise…"_

"… Deal." Sasuke sighed and then diffidently wrapped her arms around Naruto's shoulders to draw her closer. "Now," she murmured, lips gravitating toward the blonde's, "Let's get this done."

**.**

**.**

**.**

Itachi chuckled and threw a bloody and slightly rusty fork over to the side, rubbing at some scratches that decorated his arm and upper-chest. He stepped out through the gates of Leaf Park and cracked his neck, patting the messenger bag at his side while whistling a tune. Kisame looked him over from a hotdog stand; he paid the vendor, messily squirted some ketchup and mustard onto his food, and calmly fell into step with the brunet.

"What's in the bag?" the blue-tinted man asked, taking a bite from his hotdog absent-mindedly.

Itachi smirked, a twinkle in his deep-garnet eyes, "A gift." He nodded resolutely, "Probably the best one Sasuke's gotten in a long while…" the man frowned, "Y'know, since I've been gone for so long." He opened the bag and then discreetly yet confidently showed his companion its contents, "Everyone wants their fair share, but they can't possibly give as much love to her as I'm gonna give her when she gets this."

Kisame chuckled darkly and swallowed only to take another bite, _"I pity the girl…"_

The brunet touched his spindly fingers to his pale pink lips. "Oh, I know what that jealous silence means," he said, spinning to face the other excitedly, "You want to know why I'm giving such a cute child's memento to her, aren't you?" There was a slightly dreamy expression upon his face.

"… Sure," the other replied, shrugging; no longer phased by anything the Uchiha could possibly be involved in. _"It's like being on Acid, but real,"_ he reasoned to himself, _"Just as trippy and just as terrifying… less colors though."_

Itachi nodded in satisfaction. "So," he began, "Sasuke and I— we used to play together a lot." A look of utmost pleasure glazed over his eyes, "She used to love playing with me. She was so cute. Always looking up to me and trying to copy whatever it was that I did; always asking me to play with her. Always there—"

"Itachi. Focus."

"Ah, yes," the man nodded firmly. "Well, anyways…" He grinned, "One day, when she was still seven and absolutely adorable with big eyes, and long eyelashes, and long hair that curled just a _little_ bit, and tiny hands, and big lips, and—"

"Itachi.

"Er— right," he smiled apologetically, "Well, My baby Sasuke sees a little kitty-cat." Itachi licked his parched lips, "She has her stamp collection; and pad; and some papers in her little, little purse. She looks at me and says…" He then gazed cutely up through dark eyelashes at the taller man; he raised his voice to an innocent falsetto "_Big Brother, wouldn't it be cute to have a kitty-paw stamp?_" A pale hand went into the bag at his side and began to fondle the baggage, expression turning back to default, "I say: _'Yes, Sasuke. It _would_ be'_." Itachi pointed a finger up into the air, "So, then I have a great idea, Kisame," he proclaimed, "I say, _'Sasuke, I'll get that kitty-paw stamp for you'._ Her eyes light up." His own eyes glazed for a moment, "Beautiful sister…"

"Itachi."

"Right." The man nodded again, leaning over slightly, "So I give her a little kiss on the cheek…"

Kisame looked down at the other through the corner of his eye. "I'd rather you not show me," he said, tilting his cheek away from Itachi's smirking lips.

"Your loss."

The other huffed, "I implore you, please continue with your amazing tale of chivalry for your little sister who you still love so dearly."

Itachi grunted, "Yes, so, I give her a kiss on the cheek and tell her: _'Now don't you go anywhere, Sasuke. I'll be right back'_."

The two men walked toward a busy and bright flower shop where a dark-haired man made his way behind one of the stands to look at roses of some sort.

The taller finished up the last bit of his hotdog, licking his thumb for the remains of ketchup and mustard since he had forgotten to grab a napkin.

Fingering the package still, Itachi looked up at the vast, clear sky, squinting at the sunlight. Then, his eyes narrowed in glee, "So, with that promise in mind, I go after the thing, and _damn_ is it fast." He paused and then frowned deeply, looking back at the cracked sidewalk thoughtfully, "I chased it under the fence, down the street, across four blocks… It was about an hour and a half afterward when I got back to the spot Sasuke was sitting at. She looked terribly bored…"

Kisame watched as Itachi deftly picked a thorny flower from the flower stand's display and then slipped it into his jacket sleeve without drawing any attention to himself.

"I felt so bad." His voice softened, "I'd left her there by herself and I felt like… the worst big brother ever— you get what I mean?"

Shrugging, Kisame's eyes darted around, scanning the area, "I wouldn't know."

They rounded a corner and continued down the avenue where ordinary and cheery men and women chatted idly at café tables and store windows, never seeming to notice just which psycho was in their midst.

Itachi shrugged, "So I went over to where she was, and when she saw me, her expression changed completely: she looked worried for a minute because I had scratches all over my arms and leaves in my hair, but then she smiled this amazingly adorable smile that only she can pull off, and it was all because I came back to her… She said: _'Ah! You look like you had an adventure! Oh! You have the cat? Please let me see it, big brother. I can't wait to see it!'_ in her sweet, sweet voice…"

Kisame opened his mouth, ready to bring his friend back to reality; he stopped when he saw the dark expression on the man's face.

"I don't know why I felt angry then…" he growled, "But I resisted it and I handed her the cat before my hands could tighten around its neck." His expression changed again, "And then, when she took its paw and then placed it on that red stamp pad… and rolled the paw over her paper…" Itachi took out a scrap of paper and looked over the address written upon it, "Later, when we were walking home, she said to me: _'Big brother.'_ I looked at her, _'Yeah?'_"

They walked forward, coming to a set of stairs.

"'_Thank you for catching the cat,'_ she said before hugging me tightly around the waist." The man smiled warmly at the memory, "And I was able to forgive all the cats for trying to be just as cute as Sasuke was because they could never be, no matter how hard they would try." He breathed deeply and huffed as they made their way up the stairs, "_Damn_, Sasuke must be pretty fit now," he complained, "These stairs are horrid."

The two men made it up the stairs and looked down the set, discreetly wiping sweat off from their brows.

"Your sister better have nice legs," Kisame growled, "And this better be the right address."

Itachi nodded in agreement. "It is." He immediately went about looking for the right door; upon finding it rather quickly, he grinned and pulled out his gifts for Sasuke.

Out came the thorned flower, the "cute child's memento", a pad of paper, and an ink pad full of the brightest and most beautiful red imaginable.

"I think she'll like it," the Uchiha grinned, admiring his aesthetic taste with appreciation.

Kisame quirked an eyebrow, "It's paper, blood, a prickly flower, and a dead cat, Itachi. It's a nightmare."

Itachi stood up from his kneel, "You're lucky I like you," he said with a serious face and a point of his finger.

The other grinned and leaned back on the railing that faced the door. "Oooh," he mused, "I'm curious now. And just what would happen if you didn't like me?"

Before he could reply, a jingle rang out from the brunet's pants; so, reluctantly, he dug into his jeans pocket and picked up the offending cellphone.

"Hello, the person who this phone belongs to is currently dead. May I take a message?"

**.**

**.**

**.**

"Thank you for doing business with us, sir," said the blonde florist chirpily as she tied a satin ribbon around his bouquet of red roses and baby's breaths, "Would you like to buy a vase too?" Ino heard a thud and looked over to the side. She dropped the vase she had reached out for, paling.

**.**

**.**

**.**

A woman sat on a park bench, her hair a straight, long, and dark red; her eyes seemingly black; and her skin almost as pale as moonlight. She looked suspiciously at everyone who passed her. It wasn't wise for any woman with dark hair, dark eyes, or pale skin nowadays to be alone, but she was too proud of a creature to hide her natural beauty even if it was for safety. Sighing, the woman took a button near the bottom of her crème-colored button-down and began to roll it absent-mindedly between her fingers.

She thought about the recent murders on the television; how they all centered around women who looked like her— how the killer never failed to take out their eyes before carving the _Mitsu tomoe_ into the victims' eyelids…

How they never seemed to die the same death.

She shook her head and then stood up. If she were to stay strictly in public then there would be less of a chance for her to be taken.

Her head turned every which way still, and she chose to go the path that contained more people, watching a handsome orange-haired man with many piercings walk by with his bright blue-haired girlfriend. She felt her lips quirk downward with envy.

How nice it must be to not have to worry about possibly being killed. How nice it must be to have somebody— to be able to give your trust to them—

She stumbled backwards and bit back a groan when somebody hit her shoulder.

With a heated glare, the woman straightened, and turned to look at the other who was holding their shoulder defensively. Her eyes widened faintly though when he turned around to face her, and the fierce and angry words she had prepared did not come out of her mouth as she looked over the beautiful man before her: his pale skin, dark hair, and ruby red eyes. He looked young, but there were numerous lines around his unusually colored, almond eyes.

Just then, he grabbed her shoulder and looked it over, inspecting before pulling away and bowing slightly, "Ah! I am _so_ sorry!"

The woman's face softened. "No, it was my fault," she said, "I wasn't watching where I was going."

The man shook his head furiously, "Neither was Tobi— ah, I mean, neither was I. Ah, I am really so sorry…" he chuckled, "My name is Tobi, by the way…"

She smiled, "Nice to meet you." She then pulled her hand away, "Now, I am terribly sorry, but, I really need to go."

He nodded, "Yeah, I need to get somewhere too." Bowing again, he grinned, "Maybe we can see each other again?" His eyes widened, "Ah! Deidara!"

A blond man turned his head away from the two of them. "Fuckin' klutz!" he spat, pulling his black, hooded jacket tighter around himself and flicking a bird-shaped lighter open and closed, "Why don'tcha hurry up, hah?"

Tobi perked, "See you later!" he waved and then rushed away from her, bouncing away carelessly; almost running into a baby-stroller on his way away.

The woman watched him catch up with his companion before pursing her lips. She turned away and then looked back.

She timidly retraced the increasingly lonely path they lead her down with her own steps.

**.**

**.**

**.**

_The man looked at the store sign; his sight turned upwards toward the sign above the door: "Yamanaka's Flower Shop" it read. His brown eyes narrowed before he walked into the colorful store. As he took in the intimate scenery, the scent of mixed flowers wafted around him. The man looked around; he saw a cheerful blonde and a pink-haired woman at the registers; a dodgy, dark-haired man anxiously looking through roses with an impatient look upon his pale, gaunt face; a man of mixed race looking through aloe plants and Venus fly traps at the same time; a rather plump man nervously looking at the counter where the blonde chatted amicably with a customer and then back to the lone cosmos flower in his hand; a few others who were busy picking out flowers for their spouses or plants for their mothers; and finally, his eyes landed on a pair at another doorway at the other side of the store._

_They were standing rather close, the blonde woman holding the brunette reassuringly as the paler of the two constantly found herself blushing and looking away from the other. The tanner would smile broadly every few moments, but the action seemed strained and the man frowned, tan-skinned fingers automatically fiddling with the tag of a nearby orchid flower. Even though they stood there for only moments, the two talked for what seemed like forever— their conversation seemed only to leave out the many things that needed to be said; it only included bits and pieces of things most relevant, and the man immediately knew that something had not been right from the very start of their relationship…_

"_Sasuke Uchiha," he murmured when he saw the brunette's slightly scolwing face: those eyes; that skin, that hair— all too similar to another woman who he once knew…_

_He observed the two as their bodies crept closer to each other and their mouths began to gravitate together._

_Watching them, he thought to himself: _"Even though something is not right, it may be—"

_Faintly, he heard something in the distance snap._

**.**

**.**

**.**

There was a sudden scream and Naruto immediately ripped her lips away from Sasuke's patiently waiting ones; her head twisted to the other side of the hallway and she ran closer to the source of the hysteria with a hand upon her mouth to cover her trembling lips; she did not spare a glance back at the one she left high and dry.

Sasuke, upon realizing that she no longer had somebody to hold, huffed rather loudly in an increasingly growing irritation for reasons she did not know of, but ones that she would soon realize. She shook her head roughly and then made her way to the flower shop, heading toward the register where she knew the scream had come from. There was only one person she knew who had that distinctive, teenage voice in the city of Konoha, and she had only met her once: "Ino!" she shouted, anger still in her voice, "_What's_ wrong?"

"A body!" the woman shrieked, tears flowing out of her eyes, "It-it… just fell down right in front of t-th-the w-window and into the st-stand outside—" She trembled and pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes, "I don't know how… I don't know why… I just— I just—!" Ino sunk down to the floor and sobbed, grasping at her long, platinum blonde hair in a way to forget all she had seen.

Sasuke hissed at the less-than-helpful information and then hurriedly began to push her way out to the door through the crowd. She felt a warm, strong hand wrap around her forearm in the frenzy. "What the Hell—? Let me go!" Sasuke grunted, attempting to pull herself away from the other. She growled and turned to face the one who so restrained her, expecting to find a horny Orochimaru before her. However, she stiffened when she saw that it wasn't even him.

"Sasuke Uchiha…?" asked a deep baritone voice. The man captured her gaze with his dark brown eyes and continued to stare her down after a moment of silence between them.

"…Who the Hell do you think you are?" she inhaled slowly, heart beating faster as he lead her toward the door; her legs moving to follow after him.

The man continued to pull her out toward the crusts of the crowd, glancing at her quickly from the corner of his eye. "You're not safe here," he murmured, turning to draw her close; wrapping his arms around her in a tight hold and then lifting her up from the floor. He managed their way out the shop entrance and quickly spirited the woman away.

Panic had seized Sasuke once again. She wriggled, mouth pressed against his broad shoulder, arms pinned to her sides, and legs held together at his side. The Uchiha could only manage a strangled "Mmmgh!"

"Stop struggling!" he hissed as they walked through the park entrance, "And for Christ's sake, make us look more normal… Lest I find some way to handicap your blonde companion in my frustration," was muttered lowly, but the other heard it and stopped her squirming.

Sasuke felt the grip on her arms loosen after she calmed down; she snaked one of her arms around the man's neck for more support. "Who are you?" she hissed, mouth at the man's neck, "If you have any intention of hurting Naruto—"

"I have none," the man spoke, "My only target is you, Sasuke."

Sasuke's arms tightened, "And why is that?" The tips of her nails pressed into the other's back with a noticeable amount of force.

"Because he's after you."

"Who is?"

"The Killer."

"Of course."

"…Yes, believe it or not, he _is_."

Sasuke's dark eyes flickered around and she noticed familiar surroundings. "That wasn't just luck before— You knew where I was…" she breathed. "Just what do you want with me?"

The man paused and let her down, tilting her face to look up at him, "It's because you're an Uchiha that he wants you." He frowned, "If he gets you, then he _may_ stop, but I don't believe in needless sacrifices— even if I did, there is still no guarantee that he would stop." He stepped forward and held out his hand, "But I am sure that he will not try for you if I am here beside you, Sasuke."

The brunette eyed the hand wearily, "How can I trust you?"

"Hmm…" Brown eyes relaxed slightly and the man smiled gently, "I don't know." He waited patiently for her to take his hand, "Now, are you coming with me?"

**.**

**.**

**.**

Naruto bent down next to the body and grit her teeth when she saw the familiar modus apparatus of the Serial Killer upon the cadaver's face. "Sakura…" she growled, her gut churning, "It's him again." Her blue eyes quickly went over the dark hair and the red skin, which was bubbled, raised, and broken.

"Yeah," the pink-haired woman confirmed, eyes flickering over the body's face, "But this is totally unlike him to be active where he could be seen." She frowned deeply, "What could he be getting at?"

"Hey!" shouted an oncoming policeman, "You two! Step away from the crime scene!"

The two women looked into each other and dug into their purses and pockets, holding up small pins.

The man balked. "A-ANBUs…" he whispered, legs suddenly shaking.

Naruto smiled. "Sorry, but I can't go around with my badge in my wallet all day, dude," she explained. "So just get our back-up here while we get some of this done."

"Keep the area clear too!" Sakura added as she slipped some gloves onto her hands, snapping the latex readily at her wrists. She took out a small camera and then snapped some photos of the area, documenting it. "You think he's actually going to be able to do it once he's seen us?" The woman huffed, concentration on the pictures she was taking.

Naruto shook her head and took her cellphone out, "Shika, can you get over here with some of the others for another clean up?"

"_Naruto?" _there was a pause and she heard a stifled yawn, _"What's going on?"_

"A body."

There was a scuffling sound on the other end of the line and a barely audible creak from the brunet's chair. _"Another one? _Now?" the man asked in surprise, _"But… it's the middle of the _day_."_

"I know," Naruto answered, eyes darting around the building and surrounding area as she stepped away from her pink-haired companion. "It's weird…"

"… _He seems to be the kind that gets bored easily…" _Shikamaru muttered,_ "If that's right, then he's going to go at it again soon."_

"Huh_—_? But_—_"

"_Trust me, Naruto," _the man growled, _"We need you on watch tonight." _His eyebrows furrowed, _"We're low on personnel… If you need to, then make up an excuse to Sasuke. Make sure she locks the door and you have a spare key to get back home— but, whatever happens, make sure you're ready to shoot someone down by eight. Kiba and Shino are on patrol at least until then. Did you get all that?"_

He was met with a blood-freezing silence.

"_Naruto?_

"Naruto_…?"_

Blue eyes widened, "I gotta go." She shakily pressed the button to end the call and quickly looked around. "Sakura," the blonde said urgently, jostling the pink-haired woman who was taking a picture of a broken rope which hung from the roof of the shop. "Sakura!"

"What?" the other snapped, eyes flickering to the one who so rudely pushed her in the middle of her task. She brought the camera back up to her face to re-take the photo.

"Where's Sasuke?"

"What?" the pink-haired woman asked dumbly, hands lowering. Her eyebrows furrowed, "Shit, Naruto. I don't know… Wasn't she with you?"

The blonde looked around, wide-eyed. "Shit…" she shook her head and then rushed into the flower shop, "Ino! Ino!"

The florist shakily stood up with the help of a portly man. She sniffled and then looked at the other woman, "Yes—"

Naruto cut the other off. "Have you seen Sasuke?"

Ino shook her head, "Not since a little while ago… Thanks, Chouji," she mumbled. Her eyebrows drew together in thought, "After the body dropped onto the stands… That's the last time I saw her…"

Biting her lip, Naruto brought a hand up to her forehead.

"Is she that black-haired girl that came out of the back with you?" the man asked.

"Yes," the blonde spoke quickly, turning to him. "Where is she?"

Chouji shrugged, "She left with that one guy with the brown hair. They looked like they were going to the park."

**.**

**.**

**.**

Sasuke peered out of the corner of her eye, her stomach calming somewhat as the two walked down a secluded path in the woods.

This man…

"You're not going to trick me, are you?"

"I'd gain nothing by that," he answered with his whisper of a smile, "Not to Mikoto's child."

Sasuke halted suddenly and dug her heels into the ground. "Stop…!" she gasped, "What do you want— no—" she shook her head, "Who are you?"

The man stopped and held tight to the Uchiha's hand. He closed his eyes and inhaled, exhaling slowly. "I knew your parents," he smiled again, "You look like your mother, but your ever-suspectful nature belongs entirely to your father," the man chuckled. "I am sorry to have alarmed you, Sasuke. My name is_—_"

"Neeeh?" a loud voice broke through the tense setting, "Hashirama Senju! What the _fuck_ are you doing here, old man? I thought you were dead—!" A tall, white-haired man stepped out from the shadows, his violet eyes scanned up and down the darker man with a smirk. "That _was_ your body at our little make-shift funeral, wasn't it?"

Sasuke's eyes hardened, "Let's—"

The man stood a little straighter. "Hidan…" he murmured.

"Oi, you fucking Cunt, I just asked you a question. Might as well answer it," the fair-haired man smirked, "Did I or did I not kill you three years ago?" He reached into the inside of his open back jacket, taking out a barely compact knife, chuckling. "Or," he tilted his head to the side, "Is the better question: do you remember this?"

"Sasuke…" the man named Hashirama whispered, "I suggest that you run."

The brunette gave him a scathing glare. "Is this the Killer?" she growled.

"No."

"Then I see no reason to run."

Brown eyes turned to her with the utmost frustration, "He's just as dangerous, and if he brought along—"

Violet eyes twitched. "Oi, I'm right here! Don't you just fucking ignore me!" He rushed at them, blade at the ready to pierce flesh and hack through bone.

Sasuke's eyes widened and she threw herself backwards to avoid the serrated blade, kicking out at Harashima and catching him enough on the body with enough force to send him away from the white-haired man's attack.

Hidan looked upon her, a strange glint in his eye. "Ah… Kazuku, look at what we have here…" the smirking man spoke to another who walked out of the shadows of the trees.

Brown eyes narrowed as Hashirama grasped his stomach. "Shit…!" he managed.

The emerging man looked over the brunette with a blood-hungry gaze; his hood covered most of his face and a black mask covered the bottom half of his face. Sasuke saw the green eyes narrow slightly and knew that the man was smiling, but it in no way made her feel in any way reassured. "My, isn't she a money-maker…" he breathed. His eyes turned to his friend then, "…First one to her wins, Hidan."

With a chuckle, the white-haired man agreed. "It's a race then, right, Pussy-Cat?"

And, without much ado, Sasuke ran.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Hashirama clutched his aching stomach and pushed himself up from the ground the moment Sasuke took off. He saw the white-haired man rush after her in an excited dash; he saw that the other was about to start too— with a grunt, he threw himself forward and tackled him to the ground.

Kazuku spun his slightly dazed head around furiously the moment his body felt the impact of another, his hood slid off of his head to reveal his messy, brown, shoulder-length locks.

"God damn it…" Hashirama growled as he heard a scream from where the two others had run to; he withdrew a compact knife from a small fold in his pants and flicked it open, giving a few swift, unforgiving stabs to the other's gut.

A loud laugh rang out in the air. "Do you really think that only _that_ will kill me?" the man spat. He bucked the other off of himself and dove down upon Hashirama, head-butting the man. He then sat up and pulled a handled chord of grey wire out from a pocket; he brandished it forward and met the blade in the other man's hand. "Now tell me, what's so bad about letting an ugly guy get the girl?" the man breathed harshly— his voice too loud in the tense silence between them, "Trust me: it's ego-boosting for the average man to see such a pretty lady on his knife…" he shrugged, "Or side. Whichever way the highest paying client wants her."

With wavering consciousness, Hashirama shook his head a few times and threw a kick forward. "She is not to be touched by scum…!" He quickly lifted himself to his knees and parried the thin, yet durable wire away from him. Upon seeing a knick on the previously untarnished blade, his eyes narrowed.

The other man gripped a handle of his weapon and flung out the other end, the weight of the handle causing the wire to keep in place for just long enough to let Kuzuku slice at Hashirama's right bicep; as the man pulled the wire back, the other handle of the item rammed forward into the back of his opponent's head.

The brown eyed man's vision blacked and wavered for just a short moment. "Shit…" he hissed, feeling just how unbalanced he became as his opponent stepped closer.

Kazuku pulled his mask down and bent over to the other's eye-level. "And why, pray tell…" he murmured, "can't she be touched?"

Hashirama licked his lips and felt the wire slide against his neck; it bunched in a loop and grazed against his jugular teasingly— he felt his blood pump faster and knew that if that hand so much as slipped…

His eyes narrowed and he internally smirked, even in his dangerous predicament.

"Well, for one: she's already quite _taken_."

**.**

**.**

**.**

The woman reached the park's back gates, cursing the lack of people in the area. They were all probably at the other side of the town, trying to see what was happening at the flower shop despite supposed crowd control in the area like there always was. Frowning, she thought about how useless the "secret patrol" of Konoha also was…

She panted and looked backwards at her pursuer, her legs still working on over-drive.

"_Shit… shit— _Shit_!"_

Her legs quivered and she looked back to the front quickly, her ears listening for the sound of slapping feet and—

"C'mon, Pussy-Cat! Let's have some fun!"

A mix between a growl and a whimper left Sasuke's chapped lips. She wondered where she should go.

Home was out of the question. If Naruto had noticed that she was not at the flower shop anymore, then she would probably be there— waiting— and Sasuke felt as if she just couldn't risk it.

However, if that brainless blonde didn't think about that, then she'd still be at the shop: looking for her.

She shook her head— the flower shop was also not the place to go to.

Sasuke's dark eyes flickered to the side and she saw that the man was no longer behind her.

"_Stopping would be a stupid idea…"_

Her eyes widened and she skidded to slow down, turning into one of the shops; once inside, she thrust open the door and ran to a section near the front and grabbing a few items in a frenzy. "I'll fucking pay later!" she snarled at the cashier who looked completely scandalized. She then dashed back out the doors and stuck a finger through the wrapping box of one of her "purchases" and ripping the cardboard off. Her head whipped back and forth as she scanned the streets for her chaser.

"Ah!"

She spun around.

"Pussy-Cat's got _claws_!"

Sasuke raised her arm and felt the grind of sharp metal upon new metal as the man's blade struck against her fresh carving knife.

Hidan's violet eyes flashed. "Pretty girl, aren't you?" he asked.

A snicker of adrenaline rushed past her lips. "Not as pretty as _you'll_ be in jail— I can assure you that."

The man's lips pursed and he shook his head condescendingly. "Does Pussy-Cat bite as well as she yowls?" He pushed forward and jabbed teasingly at her.

"No," Sasuke grunted, side stepping and ducking from the tip of the knife. "She bites _harder_." The brunette shot out with a pale hand and rammed the knife into the man's thigh before she felt a violent grip on her hair. Her head was thrown backward and she heard a loud howl from the other.

Hidan roared with laughter as Sasuke's knees hit the pavement, her throat bared before him. "I think that this is the time for me to say: 'I have you now, my pretty'…"

Sasuke felt her stomach drop as the knife's point lightly touched her cheek.

A drop of sweat beaded at her temple and rolled down the side of her face. It joined another drop at her jaw and ran down her neck, over her collarbone, it followed a curve on her shoulder, and trailed down her chest; it finally disappeared into the valley between her heaving breasts.

The sharp glint of a blade shone as the sun peeked out from between two silvery clouds.

Hidan's arm rose up and slashed forward as a cry split the air

**.**

**.**

**.**

_Kazuku chuckled, "So, she's taken, eh?" he questioned, "By who, may I ask is this lucky man?"_

_Hashirama let his internal grin out to ghost upon his lips and he murmured, "Her Kyuubi."_

_There was some silence before the other man cocked his head to the side. "And what, exactly, makes you think that 'her _Kyuubi'_ will even make it in time?" he asked, truly curious as to the other's reasoning. "Nobody is always on time."_

_The brown-eyed man swallowed lightly._

_What if the blonde _didn't_ get there in time? He wondered, as somewhere, blood spilt due to a hungry and sharpened blade._

**.**

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**And, thus, chapter 12 of FEMME is finished!**

**I dedicate this to **_xen665_** for being an awesome kid and supporting me throughout this series.**

**.**

**Sohei NICHA**


	14. Chapter 13: Disappoint Us

**Femme**

**Sohei NICHA**

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**Rate: T**

**Genre: Humor/Drama**

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**Notes:** _The term __"Faggoty Andy" is from Yu-Gi-Oh abridged (Or, at least, I got it from there. It may, actually be from somewhere else). I take no ownership over this beautiful phrase. LK does._

Damnit. I just made a **Disclaimer**.

This chapter is very random. I've been trying to make it for you guys, but it's just not…

Aw, fuck it.

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**. F . E . M . M . E. Chapter 13**

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"Kakashi."

The silver-haired man looked around at the other and then frowned. "What was up with the screaming before, Sakura?" he asked. His mismatched eyes spotted the latex gloves upon her hands and he rose up from the couch, wobbling a bit as the floor seemed to waver beneath him. He grunted, "There was a body?"

Sakura eyed him wearily. "You're not thinking about doing anything dangerous or stupid in your condition, are you?"

They looked at each other for moments upon moments.

Then, Kakashi smiled warmly. "Of course not," he murmured, "I'd never ever think about doing something stupid like this." He looked around the room and spotted his jacket and his book, "But I believe that I should be leaving here." His eyebrows furrowed, "After all, Ino will need a bit of comforting, and an injured man in her vicinity will do her no good."

With a reluctant nod, Sakura walked over and picked up his items from where they lay. "You go straight home, though," she growled. "Straight—" she shoved his vermilion book into his stomach, "Home."

He nodded. "Of course." Kakashi placed the book into his pocket and began to put on the jacket, sliding an arm into each sleeve quickly before shrugging his shoulders to fit in each cranny just the way he wanted it to. Then, he patted the other lightly on the shoulder before meandering through the hallway that led to the outside.

The man's steps were rhythmic and leisurely, and when he reached the other side, he frowned at the mass of curious people in the area.

Noise.

Bright colors.

Annoying people who were annoying.

…That would simply not do.

He turned and made his way to the park, where, as it turned out, there was not a single soul in sight.

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**.**

Kakashi whistled lowly, the tone of the pitch swinging high then a barely audible low.

_B flat._

A breeze rustled through the area and tousled his hair…

_E natural._

Dirt made small clouds around his feet and the sound of grinding gravel rose to his ears…

_G sharp._

He breathed in.

_F._

The air was stuffy— like how it would be before a storm…

_C. Sharp._

His eyes narrowed and he turned to somewhere further inside of the park— maybe somewhere at the other entrance…

"I can't go that high…"

.

.

.

Hidan's eyes widened as a blur of orange, yellow, and blue flashed right in front of him. In confusion, his hands loosened to let go of the items he was holding. Seconds later, _there_ was the fountain of bright crimson that he so desired.

However, when his head snapped back from the impact of a high kick to his chin that sent him reeling, his thoughts of a blood-bathed fantasy girl were stopped. He staggered back and then corrected his stance, looking at the one who dared interrupt his pleasure time.

Burning blue eyes looked back at him.

Hidan looked up and down the other and saw a blonde woman, her eyes furious; her aura maybe even more dangerous than his own. His eyes widened and he looked down. His face contorted, "Shit!" he roared, "SHIT!"

A single, orange box-cutter stuck out from his chest.

He ripped it out and snarled, eyes staring up into the sky before he began to mutter incoherent and quick words seemingly to himself.

"Sasuke, are you okay?" Naruto pulled the woman up by the arm none-too-gently and pushed her behind herself.

"Yeah," Sasuke sighed, rubbing her cheek absent-mindedly— still able to feel the cold blade against her flesh. Her eyes narrowed, "Get out of here, you useless Dumbass. I can handle this guy by myself."

Blue eyes narrowed. "Yeah, _right_," Naruto snapped. "I could tell that you had this all under control when I saw that he was going to shred your bitchy little face—"

"Hn." Sasuke glared heatedly at the other, "You have blood on my shirt."

"Fuck. _You_."

The brunette opened her mouth to retort, but from the corner of her eye saw Hidan begin to move again as if he was unharmed. Immediately, she ducked down to grab one of the other parcels she had dropped and tore it open, revealing yet another knife of the same culinary variety.

Naruto's jaw dropped as she watched the other woman shoot out and hold her own against the psychotic man. "Are you fucking kidding me?" she asked, disbelieving. Her blue eyes watched as the purple-eyed man dodged one of the Uchiha's attacks and miss a stabbing opportunity when she was wide open. _"She's supposed to be _normal_…"_ Naruto frowned and pulled out another box-cutter (her only spare); she rushed forward and rammed the blade into the man's back, pulling down on the blade with enough force to rip partially into the ribs at his T12s.

Sasuke fell back and looked back at the blonde. "You shouldn't be able to do that with a box-cutter…" she mused.

A tight-lipped sort of grin pasted itself to Naruto's face, for this was no ordinary box-cutter. _"It's got diamond chips…"_ she then grinned smugly at the thought. "I don't know what you're talking about."

However, she felt a tug at the blade and her eyes widened considerably as the man she had just penetrated resumed to move as if nothing had happened to him.

Hidan bent his neck over and a large "pop" sounded though the streets. He shook his shoulders and tilted his head the other way to look at them with an expression that contained not only a lack of fear, but also satisfaction.

**.**

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**.**

"_Shika—we're fighting a zombieeee!"_

The brunet frowned and held the phone away from his ear until the other calmed down. "What?" he grumbled.

Naruto panted on the other side as she dodged the serrated blade again, fell to her back, and kicked out— catching Hidan in the chest. _"He's not going down and he should be dead by now!"_ She rolled over and swung her leg out to catch him again on his recovery. _"Any _normal_ person would be, anyways!"_

"You've got a small blade, Naruto," Shikamaru huffed, "You gotta be exact if you wanna use what you've got… So, where'd you hit him?"

"_Spine, Lazy-ass,"_ the blonde deadpanned, _"Side of the neck. Chest— right at the heart— WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?"_

"_Figure it out,_ Usuratonkatchi_!"_

"_And _you_! Don't you dare revert back to your Japanese mumbo-jumbo around me!"_ Naruto shouted angrily,_ " I only know what '_Uchiha'_ means along with 'A-rih-gut-oh'!"_

"_Ah-ree-ga-toh! Arigato— get it right, _Dobe_!"_

"_Ah! _Dobby_, now, eh?"_

There was an exasperated huff on Shikamaru's side as he listened to the two bickering women. "Hey, if you wouldn't mind not knowing what's up, then that's fine with me." He shrugged.

"_C'MON, PUSSY-CAT!"_

The man's eyebrows shot up. "Well, he's lively, isn't he?" he muttered.

"Shika!"

"He's dead," Shikamaru's eyes crinkled mirthfully, "But for some reason his body is still running…" He leaned back in his seat, "It's like when some people sleep-walk. Their body still can go longer even after their mind is out... but this guy's still fully working… _fascinating_…"

"_How do we get him to _stop_ then?"_

"… I want to take care of him," the man declared, "Wait for me. You can last that long, right?"

**.**

She grit her teeth at the dial-tone, "The answer is yes…" The blond snapped her phone shut and grumbled at the lack of help and equipment in her vicinity. "I thought you were supposed to be useful!" she yelled at her companion, "You were doing such cool stuff before! What's _wrong_ with you?"

Sasuke gave her a furious look. "I told you to run," the woman snapped.

Naruto waved the other away, "We _are_ running." Her lips curled downward in disgust and crossed her arms over her chest, "And it _ain't_ fuckin' helpin'!"

"FOUND YOU TWO!"

The blond quickly gave the man the finger before spinning Sasuke around and slapping her ass rather roughly. "MOSH, Ice Bitch!" she shouted before running back toward Hidan, a substantial rock in her hand.

Offended, Sasuke held her stinging butt and glared with a fierce blush upon her face.

She watched as the other woman kicked and punched at the undead man.

"I won't—" she started. Sasuke growled, "I'M NOT GOING TO LISTEN TO YOU, IDIOT!"

"Run, Damnit…" Naruto grunted as she knocked the blade away and wrapped her legs around Hidan's arms and waist, hooking her feet together; she wrapped her arms around a thick neck, trying to block air from passing through a strong wind-pipe.

The man's eyes darted around wildly— and he smirked.

"RUN, SASUK— AH!" Naruto's narrowed eyes snapped open as her back made impact with a streetlamp post and she gave a sharp inhale. Her head fell back and the breath rushed from her lungs as Hidan ran back into a red-brick wall of an out-of-business shop.

Sasuke saw tanned arms loosen as the blonde slumped, dazed and in pain. "Shit…" she growled, looking around.

Nothing— nothing at all to use in this area… She didn't even know where the Hell her culinary knives had gone to—

Where the Hell they had been flung to…

She yelped when something began to vibrate at her butt. Her hands reached to her waistband and she grabbed at the object that so surprised her.

"A cellphone…?"

**.**

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**.**

Hashirama gasped but no air entered his lungs even though the other was beneath him.

"_So, my life ends today, huh?"_ he mused as his conscious blurred. The man was at least proud that he had managed to throw the other's weapon into the branches of a tree earlier in their scuffle— after all, he was not as young as he had used to be, and recovery from the blow Sasuke had dealt him and the one he had received on the head from Kazuku, was admittedly longer than it used to be.

Kazuku chuckled, "Well, well, it seems as if _his_ twelve-thousand was well spent on us…"

A confused look crossed Hashirama's dark eyes and the other noticed.

The green-eyed man pulled his captive down and hissed into his ear, "_The_ _Killer's_ going to have another body out for you Pricks by tonight." He smirked, "This morning and us? We're the distraction." The man ignored the pain of a thumb shoving its way into his eye, choosing to retaliate by throttling the neck in his hands, "Twelve-thousand is pre-pay—

"Killing you is my bonus."

Hashirama's vision darkened slightly when Kazuku dexterously flipped them over; those dark-colored hands around his throat closed in, tightening for the last time…

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Sasuke gasped when the orange cellphone began to vibrate in her hands again.

Her fingers fumbled and she opened the electronic, "Yes?" she snapped.

"_Finally_…" a voice spoke in a lazy drawl from behind her. "I guess I'm right on time…

"What a drag."

Before Sasuke could spin around, a dark-haired man pressed a cloth over her nose and mouth. She kicked and squirmed for moments, scratching at her attacker's hands and arms, but the struggle soon died down in her and her body calmed.

The newly arrived man looked at the scenery with distaste. His eyes narrowed and he flicked open a lighter to singe the end of the cigarette at the corner of his mouth.

"So… it _is _you," the man said, loudly enough to stop Hidan in his attempt to knock Naruto off of him for yet another time. He stepped away and pried off the shaking legs that were wrapped around him loosely. The blonde woman on his back fell to the ground in a defeated-sounding heap.

Violet eyes crinkled in mirth. "Chess Master!" the silver-haired man grinned broadly. "Oh, isn't it _nice_ to see you on this _fine_ day?" he said from between his teeth.

The brunet smirked, "It's nice to know you still remember me like I remember you."

Hidan placed one of his hands over his still-bleeding chest. "Aw, how sweet— you got a little crush on me, _Faggoty_-_Andy_?"

Shikamaru cocked his head. "No," he dead-panned, "But I'd like to remind you that you help me blacken my lungs."

He then went into his pockets and brought out a little carton, "Smoke?" the brunet asked.

With a smirk, the other accepted.

**.**

Naruto looked up from her position on the ground. "Shikamaru…" she smirked when she saw her companion. Her blue eyes flickered to look at Sasuke, who— physically— seemed fine… (besides being unconscious, that is.) She gave a sigh of relief before making herself forcefully scramble back up onto her feet.

Her vision blurred.

She was sure she was swaying.

The blonde shook her head and saw her vision clear and heard Shikamaru shout to her.

"Hey, Uzumaki. Tip for you:" He flicked open a silver lighter and a small flame trembled at its tip.

The blue-eyed woman quickly dove into a pocket on the inside of her jacket and brought out a small, barely-there gun, kissing it quickly.

Shikamaru spat out his own cigarette and spoke: "When facing a zombie, always aim for the head."

And, as the flame touched the end of the cigarette…

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Hashirama gasped as air rushed into his lungs.

He threw off the other's body and looked at the now life-less Kazuku.

Bulletholes.

"I better not get AIDs from this, Hatake." He spat out a mouthful of his former-enemy's blood. "I may not have as long a time to live as you younger ANBU, but I still plan to live healthily."

"Sorry then." Kakashi skillfully took the silencer off of his gun and grinned at the questioning look he received because of it. "I have a concussion," he explained simply.

The brunet pushed himself up from the ground and stumbled his first few steps toward the trail he had last seen Sasuke run.

Mismatched eyes narrowed. "I'd hate to say it, but even with my little ailment, right now you're in worse shape than me, Hashirama. Stay put."

Hashirama reluctantly nodded, taking out a convenient little device from his inner-jacket. He eyed it wearily and sighed when he saw three blinking lights: one of them was a light green, the other was blue, and the last was a loud orange as compared to the other calm colors.

"Did Sasuke make it?" Kakashi asked.

A relieved nod was his only answer.

**.**

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Shikamaru wiped a bloody chunk of brain off of his lips and shook his head slowly when the newly decapitated body of Hidan still twitched upon the ground.

"What the Hell is wrong with you, man?" Naruto yelled, jogging closer to the other. "You could have gotten Sasuke hurt! He was right there!" She pressed a finger to his chest and raised a fist.

"He was preoccupied with the exploding cigarette." The man shrugged and bent down to pick Sasuke's limp body up from the ground, eying the one he just killed, "Nice shot to the brain…" Shikamaru muttered. "Look, I need you to call somebody to get rid of this Bastard's body. After that, _somebody _will need to change her clothes before she wakes up…" He quirked an eyebrow and looked at the other from the corner of his eye, holding up Naruto's abandoned cellphone.

Obviously, Naruto didn't get the implication. However, she _did_ take her phone and begin calling headquarters.

Shikamaru huffed, "What I _meant_ was that somebody needs to get her naked and put some clothes on her so she doesn't wake up and find brains on her shirt, Dumbass. Obviously _I_ can't do it."

"Ooooooh!" A light went on behind Naruto's eyes as realization dawned upon her face. She blushed and then nodded, "I suppose you can't," she mumbled. "Ah… here," the blond offered, "Can you help me bring her back to the condo?"

**.**

The two ANBU trudged up the stairs, one struggling more than the other due to a sudden weight gain that would soon be shed, but…

Shikamaru immediately dropped his breathing package when he saw the door to the young Uchiha's condominium.

"Shit!" Naruto swore when she saw the brunette fall to the ground in a heap. She then turned back to the door and covered her nose at the smell of decaying cat. "Shit!" she repeated.

Flies bumbled around the area and there was not a trashcan in sight.

The blonde narrowed her eyes, "Alright," she growled, "Whoever this fucker is, he is _not_ funny!"

**.**

Itachi watched from the other side of the street as the blonde woman in front of his little sister's home began to shout and wave her arms around in anger. He flinched when he saw the little offerings he had so carefully set up get thrown around in the woman's frenzy.

His eyes narrowed when he saw the cat fly over the railing and fall into the road where a car immediately ran over it.

"Damnit. It took me at least an hour to get that one…" the older Uchiha grumbled. He bit into his thumb's pad and harshly sucked on the tip.

"Aw, are you _sulking_?" Kisame snickered, his eyes along with his words taunting the brooding companion. "Is Big Brother unhappy? How does Big Brother feel?"

Itachi turned to him and spat: "Just about as good as you would feel if I cut off your penis."

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_**The term "Faggoty Andy" is from Yu-Gi-Oh abridged. I take no ownership over this beautiful phrase.**_

**Also, just letting you guys know: "I'm trying to work on the lemon. Any of you guys know any good Yuris laying around? Preferably M-rated?"**

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**Sohei NICHA**


	15. Chapter 14: Touch Us

**Femme**

**Sohei NICHA**

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**Rate: T**

**Genre: Humor/Drama**

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**Notes:** _Ooooooooooooh— Barbra Streisand._

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**. F . E . M . M . E. Chapter 14**

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"_It's confirmed that there will be another victim tonight_—" _Hashirama rasped as he looked at Kakashi._

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Sasuke woke up to the feeling of hands upon her chest; fiddling with… _buttons_?

Her dark eyes opened and she frowned darkly, "What are you doing, Naruto?" she muttered to the woman currently hunched over her.

The blonde looked up from the buttons, expression of concentration completely disrupted. She smiled brightly and leaned closer to Sasuke's pale face, bringing one of her hands up to stroke at her ivory cheek while the other rested beside the loose, dark hair. "Nothing," she whispered, eyes scanning over Sasuke's still-slightly-asleep gaze. "I wasn't doing anything, Sassy."

Sasuke had no idea Naruto could whisper…

Her eyelashes fluttered shut and her eyebrows furrowed, "Liar…" she sighed, "Idiot-Liar…" She leaned toward the touch of a slightly calloused hand— the touch of a girl too busy everywhere else to care about the softness of her fingertips on another person's body.

"Hey," the still-soft voice asked, "How do you feel?"

"…" She looked away with her eyes and just _knew_ that the other meant _"I was so worried"_ but wouldn't have said it aloud for… some peculiar reason. "Fine," the dark-haired woman muttered, "But…" she frowned, "everything is fuzzy…" Sasuke brought a hand up to her forehead, "I can't really figure out what happened after I answered the cellphone."

Naruto felt her throat bob as she swallowed spit, absent-mindedly stroking at the other's soft and strangely unguarded face. "Nothing at all?" she asked in a deceivingly light way. The blonde would be sure to ask Shikamaru what he had used to knock Sasuke out.

Hands were suddenly pushing against the blue-eyed woman's chest. "I need to get up, Dumbass," Sasuke said, frowning as her vision blurred. She stopped her actions and steadied herself, pushing any sort of panic she had toward the back of her head. Her eyes widened as she waited for the television-like snowstorm to pass from before her eyes; her jaw clenched slightly— if you had only seen this woman for the first time, you would have never noticed her unease.

A hand went out to steady her and she looked up.

"Are you okay?"

Sasuke's vision began to clear, and what once was a yellow blur defined into the woman she now shared a home with.

She smirked.

"Che, I've never felt better, Stupid."

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Sasuke frowned at the clean, new clothes that now adorned her.

"_She changed my clothes…"_

Her eyebrows furrowed.

"_Why…?"_

Her eyes narrowed and she inhaled, eyes closing shut as her chest expanded.

She could still smell the faint scent of something sweet and stifling from before she had passed out, but her memory was only that good— for some reason, everything that happened during and before the black-out was a blur or even non-existent.

"_Strange."_

Her dark eyes opened and flickered over to the blonde that absent-mindedly (yet dexterously) twirled her mother's expensive Santoku-knife; flickering it over skillful fingers, rolling it and grasping it in the palm of those tanned hands…

"_There's something that I'm missing…"_

"Be careful, you Idiot," she called out.

Immediately, blue eyes snapped around and the knife slipped off the tip of the woman's middle finger. The blonde winced as the edge of the blade ran down the swirled pad; the flesh split from itself and a small stream of red trickled down the contours of her hand.

"_That doesn't make sense…"_

Naruto glared, "I got it," she shifted her foot and the brunette heard the knife embed itself into her floor with a dry "_thunk_".

Sasuke's eyelashes lowered and she quirked an eyebrow. "Your reactions are good… enough…" she muttered, eyes disdainfully looking toward the blood that now dripped onto her floor. She walked to the counter and grabbed a square of paper-towel, folding it over and over into a skinny, make-shift gauze, "Hold out your finger."

"I can do it by myself," the blonde snapped, taking hold of the paper.

"I'm sure you can," the Uchiha stared blankly into the other woman's eyes and then took the paper back when the gaze was finally captured. She began to wrap the finger, never taking her eyes off of the other. "Make sure it stops bleeding and watch a movie, or something," the woman looked at the moderately damaged appendage and kicked the knife on the ground far away from the two of them.

Naruto opened her mouth to growl out a retort, but Sasuke cut her off with a low hiss.

"Get out of the kitchen, Dead-Last. I don't want you touching my blades."

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"_W-we now know that the Killer is r-rather wealthy in order to have had carelessly paid so much to Kazuku and Hidan for a small distraction…" a pale-eyed profiler murmured, stroking at her long, blue-black hair nervously. "We just need to know exactly who he is before…" She frowned and looked to the other woman, "S-Sakura, did you find anything else on the body?"_

_Sakura looked at the corpse and wrenched out a rather bloody fork from between the woman's breasts. She frowned and scanned the rest of the body for any more puncture wounds… "Yes, Hinata," she murmured._

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Dinner held a multi-focused, one-sided conversation from Naruto to Sasuke, her anxious voice only interrupted by small _clinks_ of silverware upon the Uchiha's porcelain dishes as they ate another healthy meal that consisted of tomatoes, eggs, and rice in a gingery, sweet gravy that surprised the blonde to no end.

.. And Sasuke said she didn't like sweets.

Naruto looked down at her food and sighed, pausing in her long-winded statements. "Ah, oh, yeah…" she started, "I'm gonna go out tonight, so, wait for me here?" She fluttered her eyelashes, "I'm not really sure when I'll be back here, and I still don't know where my key went; so…"

Sasuke blinked in remembrance and perked, "Oh," she stood up and calmly walked to a drawer in the kitchen, "I forgot to give this to you before."

With a deft toss, something went flying at the blonde.

She caught it mid-air, lowered her hand, and looked at the object in her palm, silently cursing. Naruto looked up and grinned as wide and as graciously as she could, "Thanks, Sassy."

The brunette gave a satisfied smirk and then turned to fetch a glass from the cabinet, muttering something about how water might help with cramps if she drank enough of it.

Naruto's blue eyes flickered back to the object in her hand and bit her lip.

A key.

Damn.

**.**

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_The elderly man looked toward the two young men skeptically._ "No," _Danzo spoke resolutely,_ "_We will wait until the Killer drops his latest victim and corner him. I will not send out waves upon waves of ANBU—_ my _men_— _to just_ maybe _catch this man_—"

"_But it's a life!"_ _Kiba_ _roared_ _passionately_, _"We're not going to just _let_ somebody die, are we?"_

_Danzo's eyes hardened and he stared the other straight in the eye. "We can, and we _will_."_

_Before the Scout could jump forward, Shino placed a hand on his shoulder firmly. The two exchanged a look before bowing and walking out of the room._

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**.**

Naruto's eyes flickered to the inside of the place she now called home. "Sasuke…" she called out.

Not a sound was heard from within.

The blonde frowned deeply and shut the door again, stepping back into the woman's home, "Sasuke, I'll be back soon. So stay safe, okay?" She moved and went up to the woman's closed door, pounding at it roughly, "Hey, answer me, ya Bitch…"

"Hn" she heard through the door.

Naruto rolled her eyes and cleared her throat. "Be back here when I come back?" she asked, biting her lip wearily.

"I'm not going out, you Idiot," Sasuke said, voice muffled from through the door, "What do you think I am? An owl? Raccoon? A _Retard_?" She clucked her tongue as the blonde began to shout through the barrier between them at being "not retarded". The Uchiha fell onto her bed and opened her book, flipping to the fifth page after the introduction, "Have fun at whatever club you're going to, Dead-Last. I have nothing productive to do out of my bed at eight P.M. anyways, so good night."

"Meh!" the ANBU agent scoffed and wrinkled her nose at the door, "Yeah, yeah! Good night! Sleep tight! And don't let whatever crawled up your pussy die!" She turned her head and looked back down the hallway and huffed, pressing her lips to the cold door before leaving "the Bitch" for the night.

**.**

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**.**

The dark-haired man looked over his company from through a screen and cocked his head to the side, taking out a fresh cigarette from a carton next to the keyboard on his paper-covered desk. _"You guys ready?"_ he asked, lighting the end of the roll.

Naruto grinned into the small camera perched in a button hole on Sakura's vest and stretched her arms upwards; consequentially causing her shirt to ride up slightly and her chest to stick out a little more, "Why wouldn't I be, ya Lazy-Ass?" she strained.

"… _Lee, Sakura, Kiba, Sai— are you guys ready?" _Shikamaru sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, a small stream of smoke leaving from between his lips.

A pale young man smiled and pulled Sakura's camera to point at himself, "I'm game as long as the Hermaphrodite gets those fake jugs out of her shirt."

The "Hermaphrodite" known as Naruto Uzumaki sputtered furiously as Sakura exasperatedly yanked the tiny camera from Sai's hands and focused it upon the other three ANBU. "We're ready for action," she spoke, a tint of anxiety working through her normally strong and sure voice. "We've got our ear-pieces secured too, so, I guess… It's time for mood music to keep us motivated?" she offered.

With a loud: "Yeah!" Lee pumped a fist and then grinned at Kiba who scratched at the top of his canine-partner's head.

Shikamaru smirked and clicked a button, eyes watching as pixelated bars fluidly leapt up on his screen; on another, the image of his comrades sent a dancing glow upon his face to move shadows round; a rhythmic thump pulsed through ears and a smirk appeared upon each agent's face.

He breathed outward, another smoke line extended from his mouth into the dark area surrounding him.

Lee bounced upon the balls of his feet as he and his legs anticipated the first leap into their search.

Kiba slid his fingers down Akamaru's leash, resting it upon the clip at the dog's collar, hands twitching for the chase.

Sakura pulled her arms upward and across herself, thrust her shoulders around, and threw her neck from side to side, cracking her joints before adjusting the dark cloves on her hands. She was ready.

Sai's eyes tightened and he straightened his thin, dark jacket; taking a quick look at his drawn-on watch that was set to the time of around eight… or maybe nine. The minute hand was non-existent in the web of roots he had created; so the exact time was unimportant as compared to what was going to happen soon and how.

Naruto let her knees bend and her body lowered. The tips of her fingers touched upon the pavement of the street as she waited, eyes narrowing as she waited and waited and _waited_ for that launching word…

Then, there was a moment when each agent tensed in their positions and crouched closer to the ground; breaths caught until:

"_Barbra Streisand."_

**.**

**.**

**.**

Sasuke flipped another page over, eyes scanning over the words…

"_And then, the eleventh princess looked behind her, eyebrows furrowing at the faint rustling and cracking sound she had thought she had heard._

_It had been so close…"_

The brunette frowned deeply and tried to fight exhaustion from taking over her consciousness.

She had felt that way ever since waking up, the sweet scent of before still lingered in the air around her; her subconscious now connecting the smell to sleep and the darkness that it promised her. Sasuke brought a hand to rub at her blurrying eyes, her mind wandering back to the story in her hands.

It was rather unlike anything she had ever read: a twist on a fairytale of twelve dancing princesses, and Sasuke had no idea why she had decided to read this book or even pick it up and consider it for that matter.

It wasn't a psychological thriller, or a mystery, or a historical fiction. It didn't even _have_ twelve princesses. Just eleven. The twelfth had died at childbirth along with its mother; so, _why_ on earth would it be based on a fairytale that had twelve princesses that danced?

"_Oh, the story of the eleven dancing princesses and their hunk of placenta,"_ she had first thought when she pulled it off of the book shelf at the library. _"It's not even a baby anymore…"_

However, she would admit that once she had gotten past the whole "_Once upon a time_" line, she had become inexcusably intrigued with the story. After all…

_Why on earth would one woman agree to have twelve children? Wouldn't that cause… _problems_ down there?_

The Uchiha woman's face contorted in confusion, her nose scrunching and her lips turning into a pout as she thought it all over: all the stretching and accommodating of the vaginal canal after each of the childbirths seemed…

Awful.

Truly and terribly… _awful_.

She looked back at the page and re-read the last lines she had read just to get back into the reading kind of mood:

"_And then, the eleventh princess looked behind her, eyebrows furrowing at the faint rustling and cracking sound she had thought she had heard._

_It had been so close…_

_The sound of footsteps and a wild giggle…"_

**.**

**.**

**.**

"Help... Help me_..."_

_Her legs ached.  
_

_She could barely catch her breath.  
_

_She whimpered and sensed another dart slice through the air before it stabbed into her body from somewhere in the alley.  
_

_The young woman yanked it out and then stumbled into a nearby trashcan, almost wishing she could stop here and just die already.  
_

"Please... Fucking Kill me already, God damn you... _Please_..."_  
_

_She growled and pushed herself up from the degrading pile of garbage after shaking her head to clear her mind.  
_

_She felt so confused.  
_

_Did she really want to die?  
_

_"YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" the woman screamed hoarsely, "I'LL FIND A WAY OUT OF HERE!" She couldn't get her legs to move though, "I'LL FIND SOMEBODY HERE!"  
_

"Where _is_ everyone though...?"_ she wondered.  
_

_A snicker was heard before something much bigger than a dart was shot out from the shadows to pierce her body.  
_

_She shrieked and then collapsed onto the ground. Her dark eyes traveled down to her leg where she saw the sleek body of an arrow embedded into her lower thigh.  
_

_She trembled and then looked up to the shadows when she heard soft, padding footsteps.  
_

_Step...  
_

_Step...  
_

_Step...  
_

_Stop.  
_

_Her body was racked with frightened convulsions.  
_

_This man...  
_

_This _monster_...  
_

_She felt the blood rush from her face as she looked up at him...  
_

_He was beautiful— ethereally so.  
_

_She felt the breath leave her lungs...  
_

_His dark hair was as black as the night.  
_

_She felt her body weaken for him...  
_

_His pale skin was like moonshine.  
_

_She felt her spirit leave her...  
_

_His abyssal-deep, blood-red eyes stared down at her in contempt; and his lips curled into a deranged yet clearly disappointed smirk, "You are no longer amusing."_

**.**

**.**

**.**

Naruto grunted as she ran into the side of a building, kicking off of the red bricks, and stumbling over her feet as she chased after her ever-elusive target.

Yes. It had to be him. He had that mask that she had seen so many years ago.

Her darkening eyes narrowed, "Hey! Cocksucker!" she roared, rushing off into an alleyway after the figure in the dark, a dark-blue box cutter held tightly in her fist. She snarled and then pulled out her cellphone, "He's running towards you, Sakura!" 

"'Kay," was the affirmative reply. 

The agent spun around and then saw another shadow flit past her like a phantom, "Shit!" She dashed after it. "Lee!"

A cloth dropped heavily down onto Naruto's head from above and she snarled, glancing around at the now-empty area surrounding her. "Crap! I lost sight of him!" she looked up at the laundry lines above her. 

"Naruto!" 

She turned around to the voice, "Yeah, Bushy-Brow?" the blonde asked, voice harsh from running and yelling. 

He ran toward her anxiously but suddenly stopped, eyes rounder than usual, "Oh my..." he breathed, looking at her in the light of the full moon. 

Naruto felt her stomach suddenly plummet. 

She looked back up at the empty clotheslines with her wide eyes. 

Her body began to tremble. 

Lee quickly took out his cellphone, "Sai, Sakura, Kiba... If you aren't busy then we need you here..." 

Naruto looked down at the cloth in her hands. 

It was red. 

An eyebrow twitched. "_It's okay_..." she thought hurriedly, "_It's just a red shirt..."_

But the cute, red, button-down shirt was far too soaked to have had been hanging on the line for any amount of time... 

Naruto looked down and a ragged gasp passed her lips as she fell to her knees, right into the puddle of blood at her feet. 

"Naruto!" 

"NO!" she hollered, "Not again! Not again!" the blonde thrust a fist into the pavement, "Son of a Bitch!" She couldn't help a tear from running down her bloodied face as she fisted the article of clothing to her chest. "Shit... _Shit_!" 

**.**

**.**

**.**

Dark eyes shot open and Sasuke looked at the alarm on her nightstand quickly, her breath shorter than usual. She stared at the glowing, red numbers and then pulled her book off of her chest drowsily as her heartbeat slowed down.

She sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed, hands up and un-buttoning the shirt Naruto had put onto her.

"_Stupid."_

Sasuke was sure she wouldn't really have cared if she had woken up naked next to her blonde guest before…

Her hands stopped their actions as she thought that thought away with a glower. The shirt on her shoulders fell to the ground and she stepped out of her skirt and unhooked her bra in a half-drowsed state. She ran a hand through her hair and headed to the bathroom, ready for a nice, hot, relaxing shower to just wash away or at least organize all of her muddled thoughts.

She made it to the bathroom and tried to remember what she had dreamt about just moments before. All she could remember about it though, was that it had been exceptionally bright with shades of orange, browns, red, and yellow for her to see straight even in a dream; there were hands on her body throughout and every second in the illusion, she felt like she was going to explode…

Sasuke pressed her fingertips to her eyelids and rubbed lightly at the sensitive skin there. For some reason, she felt a bit wetter between her legs than normal, "_I hope it isn't_…"

She pushed her underwear to a point where it fell to the floor and looked down.

Her eyes narrowed.

"Fuck," she huffed.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Hot water ran down Naruto's face, down her body; and wove around her long, blonde hair. Her usually vibrant blue eyes were dull and confused; her blood-stained clothes were soaked through and her bones felt like ice inside of her flesh despite the heat surrounding her. 

Another body hesitantly joined her in the shower and sat down beside her, "Hey, Naruto." 

The blonde looked up and then smiled weakly in acknowledgement. "Hey, Sakura," she said, "I forgot to wear protective stuff. I sure hope I don't get AIDs," the girl joked and held up her cut finger. However, as she said it, her smile fell from her face with the water as it flowed down. 

Her companion chuckled darkly, "Yeah," she said, "Because AIDs would definitely ruin our sex life, right?" 

Naruto bit her lip and nodded, "Yeah, that," she said. Her brows furrowed and then she pulled her knees to her chest, "Sakura… I don't know what to think right now..." she spoke suddenly, "I mean… We let another one die..." 

Sakura placed a hand on Naruto's back and then shook her head, her pink hair clinging to her neck and face. "No," she asserted, "This guy's smart, but we won't let the next one die on us," he green eyes hardened, "The next one won't die because we'll be there." 

The blonde blinked and then nodded absent-mindedly, "Yeah…" she sighed. "We will…"

The two sat in tense silence before Naruto leaned back onto the tiles, lolling her head toward her fellow ANBU, "Hey, Sakura?"

"Yeah, Naruto?"

Blue eyes hooded slightly, "How many are there so far?" she looked up at the ceiling, "How many have we let die?"

Her pink haired companion thought for a moment, giving a small, thoughtful "Hm…" as she pondered the question. Sakura then gave a small sound of recollection, "Eleven, Naruto…

"As of now, there are eleven." 

**.**

**.**

**.**

The blonde opened the door, not expecting the welcome she was about to receive. 

"Where the Hell were you, Dumbass?" 

Naruto's eyes widened and she focused in on an enraged Sasuke, "Uh..." 

"I got up and finished showering— it's two-thirty-five in the A.M.— you're not in your room or anywhere else— you're not even old enough to drink!" the brunette gave her an icy glare, "There are only two things that you can do in Konoha after dark: drink, and eat," she counted the two activities off on her pale fingers. "I _would_ like to say that I'm the type who wouldn't give a curfew, but if you did anything irresponsible or dangerous—" 

Naruto snapped out of her silence and snorted, "Yeah…"

"_You have no idea_…" 

Sasuke glowered, "Right." She pulled the blonde in through the doorway and locked the door behind her, "Now it's almost three in the morning. I wanna know where you were, why your clothes are different, and what you were doing...!" She tugged at one of Naruto's pigtails and noticed its dampness immediately after the touch. She sent her another glare in question. 

The blonde's eyes narrowed and then she smirked, "I went out and took a shower with Sakura." 

Sasuke blinked and then pulled away from her suddenly, quickly putting a stoic mask back onto her face before silently (yet very emotionally) storming into her room. 

Naruto scratched at the back of her head. She frowned momentarily. 

The door slammed. 

"Guh— Sas— I... I mean, Sasuke...?" the blue-eyed woman snapped out from her stupor and stepped over to the door, knocking rapidly and pounding away with open hands, "Sa~suke?" she whined. 

"...Hn." 

Naruto took her hands from the door and began to wring her hands in the red shirt she was wearing, "Can I sleep with you tonight?" 

The other side of the door was silent and Naruto's brows furrowed. The silence spoke for Sasuke, and the question directed at her was: "_Why don't you sleep with _Sakura?"

"I..." the blonde sighed, "You don't have to let me in the bed. I'll... I'll sleep on the floor if it makes you feel comfortable—" she stopped when the door suddenly opened and a pale hand pulled her into the room. 

"Shut your mouth. I hate whiny voices that beg," Sasuke snapped, "Do something useful and help put this lotion on me." She turned around, motioning to a bottle on her dresser and pulled her dark hair over her shoulder; slipping the thin straps of her tank top down off her shoulders to expose the ivory expanse known as her back. 

Naruto watched as the silky, dark blue fabric fell down Sasuke's torso fluidly. She saw how small shoulders shook slightly at the new exposure. Her eyes traveled downward and spent a fair amount of time on the panty-clad, curved backside of the woman before her. She saw the hips sway a bit as pale legs shifted. Her blue eyes went back up and met with dark ones. 

"Are you just gonna stand there and watch me, or are you going to help me before I kick you out?" 

There was a slight tremor in the Uchiha's voice as she spoke over her shoulder and Naruto could see a faint pink hue on her cheeks that extended from the woman's pale collarbone to her ears. 

"I'm serious, you know..." 

Naruto looked over to the side and then walked over to the dresser to retrieve the bottle of lotion. "Thank you," the blonde mumbled. 

Sasuke dropped to her knees on the bed and tamely sat for the other to anoint her. 

Naruto felt her eyelids slacken as her hands slid over the brunette's smooth back. As her eyes closed, she brought her lips forward to the nape of the woman's neck, pressing against it lightly. She felt the back stiffen and she whispered: "Do you remember when I said 'I need you to know that I'm still going to be with you'?" Naruto leaned over and pressed her face into Sasuke's dark hair.

"Yes," was whispered. "What of it?"

She frowned deeply as she inhaled Sasuke's scent, "I meant it. I'm always going to be with you, because I'm your—"

"Stop saying that, you stupid kid," Sasuke had turned to face her, hands covering her pale breasts, "You have a life to live after these next few months are over, and then we'll just _maybe_ see each other…" She trailed off, leaning toward the lips that had begun to move closer to her own, "Naruto…" the brunette moaned, "are you trying to seduce me?"

Their lips were close, and Naruto could feel those questioning words upon her own lips, but she dared not ask the same question. "No?" she whimpered, pressing forward to feel the other against her lips the way they would have done it if they hadn't been interrupted in the flower shop just hours ago.

Sasuke's lips were heavenly with just the right amount of soft, and just the right amount of chap to remind Naruto that yes, this was real. Sasuke was not completely perfect. She had slightly chapped lips, so it didn't matter that _Naruto_ wasn't perfect.

Sasuke wasn't perfect and pristine, so Naruto didn't have to worry about tainting her with the blood that couldn't come off of her even though she had scrubbed and scrubbed herself after every mission.

Sasuke wasn't perfect, and that's what made her unbelievably perfect.

A pale arm unwrapped itself from around the Uchiha's chest and came back so that she could grasp at the back of the blonde's head, deepening their kiss.

Naruto gripped the dark-eyed woman's chin and dragged a hand down the woman's spine, causing her to arch her back and shudder, a long groan rumbling from the depths of that chest. Her hands pawed at dark hair and twisted Sasuke to face her and Sasuke ran her ever spiteful tongue over her lips… and it was utterly _perfect_.

Blue eyes opened slightly when the Uchiha pulled away shortly after her hands travelled down the curves of her sides. "Why are you…?" she mumbled.

"Not ready," the brunette muttered huskily, pushing away the fingers that were currently and shallowly tugging at her elastic. Her eyes opened, eyelashes fluttering lightly over her cheeks. She flushed an angry sort of red when the hands did not stop their fidgeting. "Above the waist," she commanded, breath tapering when Naruto leaned forward, her lips finding a nice area upon pale shoulder to flick her tongue over.

One hand trembled as it caressed up her stomach to round around an exposed breast; blue eyes looked innocently up at her, "Why?"

**.**

**.**

**.**

Sasuke grunted and rolled away from the body beside her. She batted away the hands that tried to keep her in bed and leaned away from the nuzzling mouth that neared her face. The brunette cracked an eye open and glared heavily, flipping the two over so to straddle the blonde. She sat up, straightening her still-equipped underwear, "We have to brush our teeth first," she mumbled, lips barely parting from each other as she spoke.

Talking before brushing your teeth sure was embarrassing, and it was beyond Sasuke's comprehension why it _didn't_ bother Naruto at all.

Sleepy blue eyes seemed to pout as much as pink lips did; however, they were easily distracted and flickered to the paler woman's bare chest, looking over the alabaster breasts and dusk-pink nipples lustily.

The brunette glared icily at the lecherous ogle and slapped an arm over her chest while pinching a tanned cheek.

Naruto whimpered at the pain. She had been through worse, but things like this always hurt.

"I'm going to go brush my teeth and change, and then I'm picking something up for work," Sasuke snarled.

The blonde gasped, surprised. "You work?" She rubbed at her reddened cheek.

"Che," Sasuke climbed off of the other and opened up her wardrobe as she hooked a bra on and picked out a dark blue button-down. As she slipped it on she eyed her skirts and slacks, fully aware of the lusty gaze targeted right at her butt.

If Sasuke were a first generation immigrant like her mother and father, she would either blush and tell Naruto to stop (like her mother would), or curse out the blonde in her native tongue (like her father would— her own native tongue was English, but she knew enough Japanese to suffice).

However, she was _Sasuke_ _Uchiha_; not Uchiha Mikoto or Uchiha Fugaku, so…

She swayed her hips a little as she pulled her black pants up her thighs, and threw an indulgent, twinkling look over her shoulder.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Naruto was sure she had died and gone to Heaven.

Her eyes shut as she thought about last night.

She got to feel Sasuke up last night.

And touch her boobs.

And kiss her.

And Sasuke liked it.

Sure, she didn't let her take off her panties, but still—

"WHY THE HELL IS THERE A DEAD CAT IN THE TRASH?"

Naruto's eyes shot open.

"…Fuck."

**.**

**.**

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**.**

**Did anyone else think that the line "_Yeah, yeah! Good night! Sleep tight! And don't let whatever crawled up your pussy die!"_ considering a cat died in the previous chapter?**

… **No?**

**Okay, it's just me then…**

**.**

**Uhm… WARNING: _LIME!_**

**I will say this again: If you guys have any YURI LEMON RECS, then PLEASE LET ME KNOW OF THEM.**

**I WANT TO MAKE YOU TOUCH YOURSELF BECAUSE OF THE LEMON I AM WRITING— IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?**

**.**

**Sohei NICHA**


	16. Chapter 15: Invite Us

**Femme**

**Sohei NICHA**

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**Rate: M**

**Genre: Humor/Drama**

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**Notes:** Oh god…. Oh god, I'm so sorry guys… I haven't forgotten you…. I've just been… so busy… so_, so, _SObusy…. I started college and realized that the Regiment is a time-sucker, etc… and that college is the time when people take naps instead of studying…

**On another note**: Hot damn, I never thought "_Yuri Lemon No Plot Testdrive_" would be so popular…

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**. F . E . M . M . E. Chapter 15 **

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**.**

Kisame stole a glance at the other from the corner of his eye.

Itachi was sleeping, his dark eyelashes thrumming and vibrating as his eyelids threatened to open from his dreams; a pink dusting over his pale cheeks shown and his abdomen rose up and down at the calm, deep breaths he took.

Kisame could only wonder what Itachi was dreaming about. He had occasionally asked in years back when he had known the man in middle school— a long period before being sent to the Asylum— and even in high school until Itachi had been taken away. However, even then Kisame kept in contact with Itachi, visiting him and telling him stories of how his uncle brought back a rare and endangered fish so that Kisame could keep it as a pet.

Hell, he would even tell him how those rare and endangered fish _tasted_after his uncle butchered and fried his pet fish!

But even with the intimate findings of how his pets tasted, Itachi still would not disclose to him what he dreamt.

Maybe the guy didn't dream?

He would often ponder and play with the idea.

_"But everyone dreams…"_he thought to himself.

Maybe Itachi's dreams were just too vivid to explain. Maybe they were too overwhelming and powerful to portray at all and even Itachi, the man who could think it all and bring everything to real life couldn't even believe what he was seeing?

Kisame frowned and sighed, digging into his pocket and taking out a worn, spiral notepad and pen. His fingers deftly flipped the writing utensil upside down and pressed it downward until a click was heard only to automatically flip it rightside up again. His dark eyes roamed over the other's face and flickered back to his paper.

"I really shouldn't be so lazy…" he mumbled, marking out along curve upon the uniformly lined leafs, "The printer is right over there with paper. I really should get up and use that instead…"

The other rustled and frowned, "Shisui…" Kisame heard, barely audible, "…I saw him today…"

**.**

**.**

**.**

Sasuke huffed and pushed her hair back from her face. The afternoon sunlight shone in through her window and refracted off each of the sweatdrops on her pale skin. Humidity and heat hung in the air and it was unearthly and uncommon for Konoha to feel so much like a sauna.

She looked at the short file on her desk and opened the manila with a deep frown.

With a dark growl she stood up and grabbed the neatly ordered papers and began the short trek down the hallway to her boss's office.

Just as meanly, she knocked once, twice, three times upon that boss's door-frame.

"Yes?"

Her dark eyes looked over her pale, golden-eyed boss with annoyance. "Going on a date with you is _not_part of my job and is against the rules of the office," Sasuke growled.

Orochimaru huffed and gave as much of a sulking pout as his face could muster, "Sasuke…"

"Look," she handed him the file, "I will not accept your invitation to dinner no matter how extravagant the restaurant, hotel, or whatever it is you're planning, so I'm not going to sign anything. It's too—"

"It's a promotion, Sasuke…" Orochimaru wiggled his eyebrows at her.

The brunette's eyebrows shot up and she opened the packet again, scanning it over.

She gave a dry chuckle, "That's still very unconvincing..." She gave him a careful stare before tossing him the file and turning on her heel, "I'm finished. I'm going home. I finished everything today. I hate office work. Why did I get this job? You better behave yourself, You Snake," Once out the door and part-way down the hall, she threw back a: "And that better be good food!" to her boss who looked slightly crest-fallen.

He perked up and straightened his tie with a slight smirk. Then, the man balked, "Bring your pretty blonde friend too!" Orochimaru hollered when she was half-way down the hall.

Sasuke huffed, "Of course I'm bringing that Dumbass…" she grumbled, "I wouldn't trust you alone for dinner at all." The brunette made it to her cubicle and grabbed her bag, wiping away the sweat upon her brow and closing the shades; making everything neat and tidy for the next time she would come back to work…

Not like she had to since her parents had died and had left Itachi and her very well-off; and seeing how Itachi didn't need it since he was currently on the run from the police and ROOT Institute's guards…

Before she could stop herself, a thought skipped into her conscious, "I wonder what kind of dress would…" Her face darkened exponentially, "Why would I _care_?"

**.**

**.**

**.**

Naruto looked through the shop window, her blue eyes narrowing.

"So she worked here?" she asked Sakura.

The pink-haired woman nodded, "Yeah…" she cleared her throat, "Or at least that's what Shikamaru said…" Her green eyes flickered to her Blackberry, "Her name is Alice Hartt."

Naruto nodded, "I'm surprised that the news hasn't swamped this place yet. We inform the mainstream police about things like this and a reporter always seems to find out after the information reaches the police anyways… I thought they'd be quicker this time."

Her companion nudged her with her elbow, "We're lucky nobody watches us at night!" she hissed.

Blue eyes faulted but quickly recovered with a determined expression, "We're going to stop him before the next girl…" she bit her lip, "Girl… Twelve, right?"

"…" Sakura bit her thumb apprehensively, not answering. "Let's go inside, Naruto…" she placed her phone into her pocket, and gave a dry chuckle, "After all, you have a date tonight, don't you?"

The blonde perked, "I do?" She frowned and scratched her head, "I do?"

Sakura stepped away from the shop and grumbled, "But there would be nothing to find here because we already know that the Killer only targeted her because of her physical appearance…"

"I _do_?"

"So the only thing to do would be to watch over every pale-skinned, dark-haired woman within the confines of Konoha…" Her fists clenched, "We simply don't have enough personnel for that! ANBU is a taskforce of elites and there are only a few of us. There are at least a hundred if not more brunettes that could be targeted by the Killer and they are all spread out… we could all watch more than one, but we can't be in more than one place at a time…"

Sakura jolted as Naruto grabbed her wrists, "Sakura…" she pleaded, "If you know anything about a date then please don't leave me in the dark— Tell. Me. _Everything_."

**.**

**.**

**.**

Sasuke looked at her wardrobe and placed a crème lace and silk blouse upon her bed next to a neat pair of charcoal slacks.

Then, the door banged open.

"SASUKE!"

Naruto threw open another door and grinned at the other, "I missed you!" she crooned adoringly, "How was work?"

The brunette opened her mouth in order to reply. Before she could, the blue-eyed woman flopped down upon her bed, right on top of her formerly flawless outfit. Her eyes darkened, "Work was…" she growled, "it _was_."

There was look in those blue eyes and Sasuke could see it. It wasn't a threatening or mischievous gleam, and it wasn't a frightened or unhappy dull either… the inability to identify the look was what made the Uchiha uneasy.

She waved Naruto away from her bed. "I have a promotion," she snapped, getting straight to the point, "Do you have anything presentable to wear?"

The other grumbled and pushed away from the bed with something that sounded quite akin to "Fine… _be_ a Bitch."

"Anything… _presentable_?" the brunette tried.

Naruto balked and turned to face her, "What?" she stuck out her tongue, "Orange not good enough for you?"

Sasuke felt her hands shake and she stopped them from attacking Naruto; stopped herself from wrapping her fingers around that _Idiot's_ neck and wringing her lifeless…

"Do you have _anything_ to wear so that I can be seen with you?"

Naruto sighed and toed the ground. She shrugged, looking somewhere on the wooden floor, "Well…" she began softly, "If it's nothing _too, _ too big, then I _do_ have this one thing…"

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**Once again, I am SO SORRY for being so late with this one…**

**I meant to get this out sooner…**

**Really… It's just that College… WHAT? It's not a good enough excuse?**

**But I'm getting so OLD!**

**XD**

**.**

**But, yeah, sorry this one is so short too, but I wanted to get something out for you guys and I started this one really close to the other chapters and then didn't know what I wanted to happen (I have a plan for the end though, no worries) So…**

**I demolished it and Rewrote it all!**

**Until Next time!**

**.**

**Sohei NICHA**


	17. Chapter 16: Dine With Us

**Femme**

**Sohei NICHA**

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**Rate: **M

**Genre: **Humor/Drama

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**Notes:**Ok, So… _Amstel_ is a type of beer which I found out is _very_ popular in the South (like… in Curacao and Bermuda… actually, Bermuda is kind of north). There are tons of signs just with the logo. _Polar_ beer is also very good, if any of you are of age and decide to go to those places… hahaha— but the age limit is also different there too. If you're 18 you should be good.

Oh God…

…I am such a bad influence…

Also, to the guest who asked what senior year feels like, it's pretty awesome. You get to slack off during a lot of the day because you're finished with most of your credits, and everyone acknowledges you… then you become a freshman again so… yeah.

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**. F . E . M . M . E. Chapter 16 **

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The man took the cigarette from his lips and sighed smoke; it took shape and curled into a tail of white.

"So… she's doing ok?" he asked, pressing a button at his fingertips for the speaker.

"_Yes. Of course,"_ Hashirama spoke, chuckling lightly, "_That little Brat is surprising though, I must say. She's become very capable in your absence."_

"As an ANBU?"

He looked at the picture in his hands: a portrait of a young girl with short, spiky blonde hair and energetic blue eyes. She was holding a toad in her hands and there were several others surrounding her, one on her shoulder, one on her head, and the rest hopping around at her feet; he was sure there was a twitching, green leg sticking out from underneath her fat little bare foot.

Hashirama chuckled again, "_As an ANBU, yes; as a person too_."

"… Not retarded like me, right?"

"_Nothing _like_ you at all_…!"

The man smiled wistfully and smothered his cigarette on the pad of his ring finger, wincing slightly before and after dipping his abused finger into his glass of ice and _Amstel_. "She's with that Uchiha, isn't she?" he hissed as pain reverberated up his arm.

"_Hmm…_" was the hum of confirmation, "_She is."_

He clucked his tongue and shook his head. "Hey, Oldie, do you think she ever wants to see this face again?" He ran a hand over his short, crimson halo of hair and cracked his neck, shaking his shoulders of tension. "You think she'd be mad?"

There was a pause. "_Well… I suppose that you _are_ supposed to be dead, aren't you?"_

"…I suppose…" He huffed, pulling his finger from his glass. He sucked upon his injured appendage. "But then again, she probably wouldn't be too angry if she saw a ghost, would she? I mean… wasn't she the one who went ghost hunting with me back when she was little?"

"…_No. I'm pretty sure she's still afraid of ghosts_."

The man shook his head and scratched at his chin, "Well, I think you're retarded. I'm pretty sure she likes ghosts, and why wouldn't she be happy I came back just to see her?" He downed his _Amstel_ and then hung up, pushing himself up. He turned to walk out of the room and caught sight of something.

He smirked.

"Damn, Kurama…" the man purred, winking charismatically, "Lookin' good today, aren't ya?"

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Orochimaru sat with his hands folded atop the edge of the table. He looked motionless, but his golden eyes scanned the area without missing a single spot.

What he saw: a young woman and her lover were laughing and giggling together as they ate their gourmet salad; their waiter was coming back with a pitcher of water and a few slices of orange that the man at the table did not like, but apparently his woman enjoyed it, so he thought he'd be a man about it and take it up the ass.

Obviously that man was a dumbass, because this was a five-star restaurant and if he wanted to just settle for something then he could have gone to a Burger King.

The dark-haired man took a sip of his own glass of water and saw the sweat that ran down the other's neck as his eyes skirted around behind his girlfriend's head.

It was too warm for him.

Also, his suit was a little big for him.

It was probably a hand-me-down from somebody more man than himself.

Simply procuring a reservation to this restaurant probably put quite a dent in his wallet.

Walking out would rob his savings.

His girlfriend was too expensive for him.

He had low self-esteem.

Somebody was going to get dumped tonight.

Suddenly, Orochimaru's phone rang and his pale hands deftly went to his side to receive. "Hello?" he purred.

"_We're going to be late."_

The man's lips twitched upwards and he looked at his watch, "I figured, since it's currently appointment time and you're usually so prompt, but _do_ take your time to look pretty." He heard a snort form the other end.

"_Don't worry about that," _the woman on the other end spoke_, "I won't be the looking pretty. I can guarantee that. I'm only on my way because I was _promised_ a promotion, and if I don't get one…" _she paused, and he heard her mutter something to somebody else on her end.

He couldn't hear _what_ it was that she said, but to his acutely-trained ears the voice was noticeably strained.

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Sasuke looked at the other woman who, quite surprisingly looked quite… _beautiful_.

Her long, blonde hair was woven into a long, loose fishtail braid that reached her hips, and her normally untamed bangs were brushed to the side. She wore an elegant, calf-length, satin dress the same color of her Caribbean blue eyes; it revealed her slender bronze arms and the small of her back but seemed to give the impression that she was far more demure than she was. On her feet was a pair of nude pumps with glistening specks of a similar hued blue. Her only accessory was a simple necklace with a set of three luminescent stones balanced at the center.

The young woman grinned and then boldly stepped closer. "Is it ok?" she asked.

Sasuke's dark eyes widened slightly, "It's…" she searched for the right word to describe the attire as the other twirled and modeled her new look proudly like a daughter to her mother. "It's…" she saw the other wilt slightly and rusty and misshapen cogs could be seen turning in Naruto's head to figure out what else to wear or what could _possibly_ be wrong with the way she looked at all. The Uchiha snorted, "It's adequate." She turned on her heel and grabbed her black clutch from the kitchen counter, "Hurry up and grab your stupid frog-bag; then we can go, Dumbass."

Naruto looked around, muttering to herself; Sasuke went back onto the phone.

"We'll be there in fifteen."

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Naruto looked around the restaurant with horribly concealed awe.

"C'mon, Naruto," Sasuke smiled lightly at the other woman's antics. "He's over there. We can come here again if you really want to gawk."

The blonde nodded and instinctively reached out to grasp the brunette's arm to follow as a blind man while she continued to ogle the scenery.

It was wondrous.

The restaurant was at the top of a skyscraper; its ceiling made from some sort of glass strong enough to brave even the harshest of Konoha's witnessed weather. The lighting was a soft tangerine glow just strong enough to see one another from a distance and to read the menu.

Naruto grinned.

This night the stars were beautiful.

She looked back ahead when she felt the other stop walking and saw a pale, dark-haired man intently watching a fighting couple on the other side of the restaurant.

"Orochimaru."

He looked up from his entertainment and smiled. "Sasuke," he stood up and extended an arm toward her and Naruto noticed that he also welcomingly held out a hand for her too. Sasuke, however, sat down on one of the three seats at their round table. She smiled charmingly and took the second hand lightly.

"It's nice to meet you," Orochimaru purred as he lifted her hand to his lips, "What's your name?"

The blonde felt blood creep to her neck and she opened her mouth.

"I'm surprised," Sasuke glared at the contact between their hands, "You're oddly tame tonight."

Naruto closed her mouth and gave him another smile, "I'm Naruto. Sasuke's—"

"Girlfriend?"

The two looked at each other and blushed. Sasuke looked away; Naruto turned back to Orochimaru, "I was going to say _company_…"

He gave a small "Hm…" and turned to Sasuke and gave her a serpentine smile. "It's always nice to see my Protégée."

The woman tilted her head and crossed her arms, her dark eyes trained on Orochimaru's golden gaze, "Well, it's always nice to see that some things don't change, and just like normal, I'm here for what I've come for."

Orochimaru's lips pursed, "Why not have dinner first?" he smiled, "After all, your beautiful companion is all dressed up, and from what you've told me, you'd _hate_ to disappoint her…"

Naruto's eyebrows rose slightly and she sat down in her own chair.

"Yeah, dinner would be nice," Sasuke glared, opening her menu and scanning the items. "With that distraction, I'd be able to have a civil conversation with you," she smiled in a light way in which both of her companions could decode as utter sarcasm.

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Sakura frowned as she observed a rust-covered fork, a bloodied cloth, and several other items upon the observation table. She marked something upon a pad of paper and looked at the pictures of the scene strewn before her. "And the body has multiple puncture wounds?" she asked Hinata as she picked up the clothesline from the other night. With her other hand she went to retrieve a scarf of a beautiful azure, "_Silk_…" the woman mumbled.

It was different though: thicker yet more smooth and flexible than what was normally sold at market; however, it was unmistakably silk in all of its glory.

Hinata nodded and straightened, "The wounds are deep and some even go right through her, but there aren't any bullet fragments in her body… maybe it was an arrow?" She frowned and pulled the white cloth over the corpse of their latest victim.

"Do you know where we might find this scarf's manufacturer?"

The lavender-eyed woman shook her head after a moment's glance, "It doesn't look like anything I've seen. The weave of the silk is highly unusual and I'm surprised it holds. It doesn't even look like a knit— it simply looks like knots that happened to create a long strip of cloth." She motioned to the piece as a whole, "But if you look really closely, you can see that it looks like—"

Sakura's green eyes narrowed and she finished the statement, "_Tomoe_."

Hinata tilted her head slightly, "So we are looking for a Killer who targets young women with dark hair, pale skin, and dark eyes; has access to silk and lots of money; and can somehow do all that he does without either the ANBU or the civilians of Konoha knowing—" She slid off her latex gloves with barely a snap, "He's very prepared, if I do say so myself."

"Too prepared for my tastes…" The pink-haired woman sighed and pulled off her own gloves, throwing them roughly into the biohazard bin, "He's skilled and smart… and crazy."

They shut the shades and stepped outside; locking the door behind them. The two women then walked down the emptying hallway

"Or," Hinata added, "He's perfectly sane, but finds pleasure with what he does." She slipped her labcoat off and shook her shoulders from their stiff state.

"There's only a thin line between sanity and insanity," Sakura took her own labcoat off and hung it over her forearm. She opened the door to the locker room and went to her own locker; quickly dialing her code and clicking open the lock. She threw her coat in and shut it, "I'd rather think he's insane."

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A blonde woman upon a bed opened her honey-colored eyes and rolled onto her side. She groaned and pushed herself up with shaking arms. A young woman came to her side and helped support her.

"Lady Tsunade," she murmured, "You shouldn't be trying to get up."

"Ever?" the blonde chuckled weakly, "I may be old, Shizune, but I sure as Hell know that with what's oncoming, I can't leave the ANBU and Konoha up to Danzou." She grit her teeth and fell back onto her mattress, "So senseless…" Tsunade closed her eyes, "all this death…"

"Lady Tsunade…?"

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Sasuke smirked, "You're kidding."

"He got rushed to the hospital and I almost bled out," Orochimaru smiled back at her.

Naruto patiently and quietly ate her dessert and tried her hardest to try to grasp what on earth the two brunets at her table found so thoroughly amusing despite absolutely _nothing_ being even slightly humorous.

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**Thank you for anyone who has stuck around for three to four years just so I would update.**

**There will definitely be more to come this time. I've just been preoccupied with my own Sasuke and homework, and me just being a lazy ass.**

**Sincerely,**

**Sohei NICHA**


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